Tag: dice

Spam The Dice Game

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

spam dice game
I don’t know about you, but I plan on inviting some friends over to play the Spam Dice Game. I have no idea how to play though. Usually playing the SPAM game involves the family collectively gagging a little and seeing how much you can get down your SPAM-hole before opening a full on vomitorium in the kitchen. Then the fun part starts when your vomit clogs up the sink and you have to plunge it. First one to get that drain clear while not passing out wins.

Not that I’m saying SPAM is gross or anything.

Anyway, who wants to come over and roll some dice. I’ll cook up a meal and prime the drain.

Dragon Dice

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

dragon dice
Dragon Dice! The game of dragons and dice! New from Spaz-bro! These dragon dice are just what a nerd like me needs to up my D and D cred with my dungeon-mates. I kind of opened a door without checking for traps. Then ran in and found myself in the center of like 50 sleeping Orcs in their barracks. Who all woke up because I yelled, “What’s up biatches!” So much for stealth.

As punishment they fireballed and lightninged the whole room, with me in it. They haven’t let me play since, even though I brought cookies last time. These dragon dice should make up for it. Then I’ll be back to getting people killed in no time.
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Roll Them Bones: Troll Skull Dice

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

troll diceTroll skulls. It’s the wacky dice game where you try to roll a pair of sixes, which is nearly impossible with these dice. Trolls can’t count that high anyway. Shake ’em up and let the dice fly. Troll your friends. Troll your family. It takes skulls, not skill.

This cool and creepy dice set is only $15.22 from Etsy seller thejessejames, who claims they are 100% genuine troll skulls.

I told the seller, “I need these like I need a few pips on each side of my head.” Cause I’m just witty like that. They liked the idea and dragged me into their workshop, but they were forced to use the catch and release method on me, because they found out my head was shaped more like a D20. A D20 with a kickstand. I have a big nose. And a big mouth. So my skull would always stop on the same number.

Awesome! Once again, my mutant nerd genes pay off.
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