Hey it’s a Plush Spam Sandwich! I’m torn. On the one hand it’s spam which is a known (to my toilet)diuretic and is vomit inducing. On the other hand, it’s a plush that looks kinda cute. What to do? I think I’ll have the best of both worlds and puke while I cuddle it.
Kinda like I did that night I found out my date was packing a sausage in her spam sandwich. It was cuddly and cozy. With tears.
I don’t know about you, but I plan on inviting some friends over to play the Spam Dice Game. I have no idea how to play though. Usually playing the SPAM game involves the family collectively gagging a little and seeing how much you can get down your SPAM-hole before opening a full on vomitorium in the kitchen. Then the fun part starts when your vomit clogs up the sink and you have to plunge it. First one to get that drain clear while not passing out wins.
Not that I’m saying SPAM is gross or anything.
Anyway, who wants to come over and roll some dice. I’ll cook up a meal and prime the drain.
SPAM. The magical meat. The more on your plate, the warmer your seat. These SPAM playing cards have recipes on them, so you and the rest of the guys can all make toxic SPAM farts on Poker night while eating SPAM treats.
I got a full house, “SPAM and Pasta Nachos” high.
Royal Flush here, “Baked Apples with SPAM King” is high.
What do you have Bob?
*Bob covers his mouth and runs for the bathroom*
Bob’s got diarrhea.
Me too, but I ain’t whining about it. Hand me another slice of that Lemon SPAM cake would you? These are the best cards ever!
Night lights keep monsters away. This SPAM night light keeps other more nutritious foods away while it beckons you with it’s ominous evil glow.
Spam, Spam,
The magical meat.
The more your eat,
The more you mess your seat.
Bake it, fry it.
You’ll never want to diet.
Open the can and down that juice,
Then sit on the can and let it loose.
More like unhinged. This literally slack-jawed and jacked up rat is crazy. As in psychotic. He’ll rip your face off man. He’s bloody. He’s violent. He’s…bloody violent!
Read more “Hinges: The Psychotic Rat”