These Devilish Gothic Troll Statues are a pair of mischievous motherf***ers. Are they trolls or gargoyles? I have no idea, but they look like they ate something that didn’t agree with them. Like they were talking politics with a pair of frogs, and ended with, “Do you frogs agree or disagree?” Frogs disagreed, so they ate ’em. That’s how troll-gargoyle dudes eat dinner.
Tag: troll
Troll-Topped Monster Storage Box
This Troll-Topped Monster Storage Box is pretty awesome. In D and D, when you find a special box like this in the dungeon, you know it contains a magical item or two. Maybe even some magical fruit that doesn’t make you toot. My campaigns usually go something like this:
My DM: You see a large chest with a troll head on it. What do you do?
Me: I look from the chest to the woman’s face and ask her where she got such a lovely troll tattoo.
DM: Seriously?
Me: Yeah. It’s quality work.
DM: Do something else.
Me: I wet my thumb and rub the chest, seeing if the troll comes off.
DM: Roll a Dex check. You fail automatically. The chest eats you.
Me: So I’m inside the chest? Can I motorboat?
DM: We’re done here.
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Roll Them Bones: Troll Skull Dice
Troll skulls. It’s the wacky dice game where you try to roll a pair of sixes, which is nearly impossible with these dice. Trolls can’t count that high anyway. Shake ’em up and let the dice fly. Troll your friends. Troll your family. It takes skulls, not skill.
This cool and creepy dice set is only $15.22 from Etsy seller thejessejames, who claims they are 100% genuine troll skulls.
I told the seller, “I need these like I need a few pips on each side of my head.” Cause I’m just witty like that. They liked the idea and dragged me into their workshop, but they were forced to use the catch and release method on me, because they found out my head was shaped more like a D20. A D20 with a kickstand. I have a big nose. And a big mouth. So my skull would always stop on the same number.
Awesome! Once again, my mutant nerd genes pay off.
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Eww La La: Pinup Goblins
Hey Baby. You are looking cute as dungeon loot. What do you say we blow this dungeon and level up together? I would totally hit that. And my nerd D and D character has a ton of hit points, so I would hit it again and again. Hairy and scary, just the way I like ’em.
Etsy seller FiendishThingies has a ton of cool sculptures, but these Pinup goblins for $350. take the cake…And rub it all over themselves, with smokey eyes, while blowing you a kiss and doing a little dance. Damn girl. You got claws that catch.
Check out another hottie after the break.
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