Tag: ebay

Domain Name Gold: FUhotdogs.com

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fuhotdogsNow is your chance to get in on this once in a lifetime opportunity and buy a domain name that really rocks. FUhotdogs.com. The possibilities are endless. I would review hot dogs from all over the country and the ones I don’t like would go onto that website, where I would say to them FU Hot Dogs. You suck. You were terrible. It had way too much relish and not enough factory filth.

Other than that you could probably just use it to rant and rave against hot dogs. FU Hot Dogs. FU. I hate how fat you have made me. They are delicious, even if they are basically a pig factory’s compost pile turned into logs. This domain will cost you $2,000. on ebay. Seriously, FU Hot Dogs!

Star Wars Salacious B Crumb Life Size Replica Hand Puppet

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Salacious B CrumbToo bad this life sized Salacious B Crumb just ended without a bid. I would have totally bought it for $850 from Ebay seller 7heads10horns.

Salacious B Crumb is one of the best names ever. It fits the cackling and stark raving mad little weirdo. I’m guessing he basically lives off of Jabba’s crumbs. Cause you know, Hutts are fat.

Sammy Davis Jr. And Mini Burt Reynolds Dolls Are Ready To Haunt You

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sammy davis jr and burt reynoldsThis Ebay auction is for 4 haunted dolls for $9,999.99. But I’m only concerned about these two here. I don’t care what names they go by, I know Sammy Davis Jr. and Burt Reynolds anywhere. Together they will party down and haunt the sh*t out of a place. They starred in the Cannonball Run movies together. Burt is still alive, but whatever.

The seller says that these dolls are of the Guatemalan/Mayan Folk Saint San Simón Maximon. The seller also says:

“These things are powerful as sh*t. I have NEVER had Magick work so effectively as with San Simón.”

That is powerful. And since magic is spelled with a k, you know these dolls are gonna bring the funk and the psycho-kinetic gunk (ectoplasm). Basically the seller claims that they made a pact with this entity and he won’t let them out of the deal. So they are selling the dolls.

However, you will have to offer this spirit “money, tobacco, booze, black candles, bread or cakes, etc”. Well, that explains why these dolls are smoking up and sitting amid a pile of booze and coins. Sammy D and Burt Reynolds always did like to live it up. Now they are holding this poor seller hostage. And I find that hilarious. They can have my bread and cakes, even the money, but my booze and smokes are off limits.

The Roadtripping Dead: Airstream Trailer Fantasy Coffin

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airstream trailer coffinDie in style with this sweet Airstream Trailer Fantasy Coffin. Only $3,000. from Ebay seller track16vintage. According to the seller, this is how they bury people in Ghana. In cool unusual coffins. Sounds legit. The Ghana-rheans (Is that right?) are pretty cool peeps.

I’m moving to Ghana. In Ghana, funerals are a pretty big deal. Children of the deceased are assigned new parents, and mourners spend days in heartfelt conversation with their lost loved ones. (Sweet! New parents to buy me a new Xbox. No need to gab at me all afterlife though.) Check this out. Women give the body a ritual bath and set out objects that the person will need in the afterlife too. (Awesome. Bathe me in a bubble bath please. Nevermind that my man-stick is going all flagpole on ya. That’s just what happens after death. Please lay out some Cheetos, the already mentioned Xbox and some Mountain Dew.)

I am totally gonna be a Ghana-rhean. Click through to check out the inside.
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Lifesize Uma Thurman Mannequin Wearing Poison Ivy Costume

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Poison Ivy Batman and Robin costumeBatman and Robin. That was a terrible Batman movie. Luckily it did have Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. I would rub up on those vines and get a seven year itch. You know what I’m sayin’? Reminds me of that time (the only time) a girl came over to my house wearing a sexy Poison Ivy costume. She was covered in actual Poison Ivy. She was all like, “I’m just wearing this so you won’t touch me, perv! I’m only here because you have an Xbox.”

Anywho. Do you want a life sized Uma Thurman doll wearing the Poison Ivy costume? Ebay seller gvmdesigns has one for you for 5 grand. Oh man, give me just one night with her and it would be worth the year long calamine lotion baths and blistery lesions all over my body. Mind if I climb that Ivy tower madame?

More images below, including a weird one where she has a canine sidekick.
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