Tag: etsy

Just Another Pot Head

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pot head
This is a Pot Head. This is also your brain while looking at a Pot Head.*Cracks an egg and fries it* It is the creation of Etsy seller museumofwonder, which is impressive. Because most people have to give birth to a Pot Head and let him ferment until his teen years when he starts experimenting. That’s what my parents did anyway.

Stupid Pot Head! Every time I try to cook in you, the food drips out of your mouth and nose like you’re listening to Pink Floyd and drooling. I wouldn’t care so much, except it usually starts a fire.

Aren’t You A Little Constipated To Be A StormPooper?

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trooper on a pooper
Friend to the site and all around cool guy(He still scares me though) DeadGreedy has another fun bit of Star Wars weirdness. A StormPooper. This Funko Pop figure is reading the paper, trying to force his muscles like a trash compactor, so he can lay some Imperial mines.

I hope he cleans up real good, because everyone knows Stormtroopers can’t shoot straight. Speaking of shooting, why does he need his blaster while on the toilet?

Oh, that’s right. This is a cut scene from George Lucas’ “remastered” Star Wars. I read about this. There was that comedy bit where every time this guy sat down to do his business, he got interrupted by Leia’s rescue. As I recall, it ended with this guy cowering on the Millenium Falcon toilet, as an angry Wookie bursts in, ready to take a hefty “Steamy Ewok”.

Horrifying Pop Culture Icon Prints

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pop art heroes
These nightmarish art prints from Etsy seller WednesdayWolf feature all kinds of pop culture icons as seen through an acid trip lens. Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man? Yeah, maybe. If hell is his current neighborhood! Mario and Luigi? Yeah, they’ll fix your pipes. probably work you over with some wrenches too and tie you up and leave you in the tub.

Oh, look. It’s the 10th Doctor. He’ll take you for a ride in his TARDIS and eat your soul, then throw your lifeless body into space to be used as a Dalek speed-bump. Yeah. Somehow I remember these characters being a whole lot less nightmare inducing.

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Chalkboard Skull

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chalkboard skull
Ancient humans knew how to leave notes for each other. They would just take some ash from their fires and write on the skulls of their dearly departed. They had plenty of writing space too since everyone died at like 23 back then. Once you hit puberty you knew it was all over.

Now you can write messages on skulls too thanks to this handy Chalkboard Skull. They come in all kinds of different fancy colors and styles. Or you could just, you know, use the skull you have and write messages on your own head in sharpie. That’s what I do. Which is probably why I only remember to get eggs when I look in the mirror. Or when I’m walking down the street and people point and laugh, saying, “Hey eggs” or “It’s the egg-man!”

Hand Crocheted WWII Tank Slippers: Tanks For The Warm Feet…Pew Pew Pew

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crochet tank slippers
Pew! Pew! Pew! My Tank slippers sank your battleship. That’s what you get for wearing battleship slippers on desert themed carpeting. The tanks are gonna win every time. Let me throw you a lifeline and I’ll tow you to safety. Get it? Tow you? Toe you?

You’re welcome! Oh I thought you said tanks for the joke. My mistake. I’ll tread more carefully. Are you even getting all of these awesome tank jokes? Whatevs. I’m gonna go make some Rommel Ramen noodles and chill.