Tag: etsy

3D Alien Chest Burster Poster

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alien 3d poster
In space no one can hear you scream. That’s true of the internet too, because you didn’t hear me scream like a girl a minute ago when I spotted a spider. Outside. On the other side of a closed window. Terrifying. But I’m better now.

This 3D Alien Chest Burster Poster really makes a statement. I’m gonna hang it in a hallway about so high, so that every time I pass it, I can shake it like a hand or high five it. He’ll be my little bloody buddy. What was that guy’s name who had this thing burst out of his chest? I have no idea, but his name should have been Ripley. RIPPPP. Here I am, all bloody with my neck sticking out of your chest. What’s up guys? Got any snacks?
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Tighty Whitey Bag

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tighty whiteys bag
Make a fashion statement wherever you go with this stylish and somewhat off-white Tighty Whitey Bag. Don’t leave it unattended though. You may come back to find a man standing inside of it. Bonus: The interior lining is all blue flames like when you light your farts.

I would hate to be the thief that tries to steal this thing. First off, as you are struggling with your victim, you notice that this purse is actually a pair of dirty undies, but what’s worse is when she starts hitting you in the face with it and your nose tells you that it was probably worn at one time. For like 2 months straight. And never washed.
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Custom Amigurumi Exorcist Playset

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Amigurumi Exorcist Play Set
Check out this handmade scene from the 1973 film The Exorcist. It features a crocheted Regan sitting in bed, projectile vomiting onto a stunned Father Merrin. That is some quality crochet vomit right there!

This pukey homage to the classic horror movie stands about 9″ tall. Believe it or not, I’ve never seen this movie. Obviously, it’s about a priest caring for a young and sick girl. Seems like a real feel good flick. Gonna check this one out.

Update: Holy crap guys! It’s like 3 A.M. and I can’t sleep because that movie was not a feel good movie! It was a feel like Satan is hiding in every corner and going to possess you movie. Gonna go hide under my blanket some more and cry and whimper at every creak and groan this old house makes.

Update 2: Phew. I’m so silly. Those creaks and groans weren’t the house. Just the bed struggling to hold my fat ass.
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Sexy Space Cadet Costume

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space cadet cosplay
Meet George Jetson,
His Boy Elroy,
Daughter Judy,
Jane, His wife.

Hold up a damn minute! Judy has grown up! Damn girl, I got a rocket in my pocket and you got a ticket to ride. Can you tilt that satellite dish a little to the left? I’m trying to tune the big game in. You so crazy. You were poking out eyes with those pointy boobs that hypnotize long before Madonna. So how have you been? I see from the image below that Mr. Spacely gave you a job holding up pillars. So where have you been? Oh, I see. Judging by those passport tattoos stamped all over, you get around girl. Catch ya on the flip side.
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Needle Felted Zombie Valentine’s Day Candy

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felted valentines candy
This Valentine’s Day give the gift of Needle Felted Zombie Candy. I hear they are delicious, but give you a serious case of cotton mouth. Plus, no calories!

So basically this is the perfect gift if your wife is getting a little thick around her dump trunk. Whoa! We were all thinking it. I’m just saying it’s the perfect gift. And since these little zombie treats are felt, your diet is safe. It’s a gift that says “I love you, but there is enough of you right now and it is making the couch bow.”
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