This A Globetrotter’s Guide to Bigfoot T-Shirt is a handy shirt for the traveller. It lets you know what to call Bigfoot in different areas of the world, as well as how they differ in appearance. So if you run into one, you can quickly identify it. I usually just identify it as “Holy s**t! Did you see that huge motherf**ker?”
Not as classy as this Bigfoot Shirt, but still.
To me my bat minions! Gather around my neck and- *cough cough* Not so tight. Loosen up- *cough* Is that guano on my sweater? Why you little- This Reversible Skeleton Bat Scarf will keep you warm and besides, bats are totally in fashion this year. These bats are adorable when they hang off the neck like that. I mean, yeah, you have to dislodge their teeth as they hang off you and suck your blood, but still, totes adorbs.
Now this is something to crow about. This White Crow Shawl is like having a giant crow wrap it’s arms around you. Minus the pecking at your head, the talons digging into your arms and flying off with you part of course. Just the comfy part of wings around you. You are the wind beneath it’s wings. Have I ever told you you’re my hero? No? Well, now you know. Try not to make bird noises while ensconced in this shawl. It’s gonna be hard, but you can do it. It is made of wool, not Crow-cheted. Haha hahaha. That was a good one. Sometimes I crack myself up. Hey, you could go by the name Sheryl Crow.
Check out this cool Sugar Skull Mug. Do you want sugar with your coffee? Only if it’s a sugar skull. Otherwise I’m trying to cut back. This glass mug will be perfect for your mourning coffee. Get it? Mourning coffee? Yeah I made a funny. Happens sometimes. This mug makes a great gift for anyone who loves sugar skulls. Like yourself. Screw other people. Giving starts at home. As in give me a cup of anything in this cool mug.
Get your bony hands off of my Black Skeleton Bone Hands Tiara before I detach your digits. That’s what you’ll say when someone tries to steal this tiara off your head. Everyone knows you are the Skeleton Queen. Or at least the Skeleton Hands Queen. You’re gonna to look awesome wearing this girl. It’s like a skeleton is behind you, laying hands on you and reading your mind. Ohhhhhhh, you got some dirty thoughts! You wanna do what with who now? You gots some serious skeletons in the closet girl!