Don’t Eat Me, Chupacabra!

Don't Eat Me, Chupacabra!
What child doesn’t like a book about monsters that like to eat their favorite little farm animals? Yeah, no nightmares here! Don’t Eat Me, Chupacabra! is a must-have for your bedtime story collection. This book is about a monster that only likes to eat goats and throws a tantrum when others offer him another delectable treat. What a diva! Set in Puerto Rico, the one positive part of the book is that the words are written in English and then again in Spanish, to help children learn how to say “I want goats!” in two languages. Great skill to have.

This board book is 30 pages long (this gives plenty of time for the monster to throw a complete fit) and is part of an entire collector set. Other titles in the set, certain to give nightmares, includes: Goodnight Krampus, Get Dressed Sasquatch, and others.

Skull Hanging Planter

Skull Hanging Planter
I need a skull hanging planter to decorate for Halloween. And the rest of the year. is kind of cool. I like that you can visibly see the underside and the vertebrae in the former owner’s neck. Made by a Marine Corp Veteran, I can only say HOOOOO-RAHHHHHHH. Cuz that’s all I know about Marine talk. The artist is badass and is more than willing to customize the skull in any way you want. So, if you want some faux blood added to the effects or some leftover flaps of skin, we are sure this can be accomplished. Maybe just a tattooed name across the forehead.

Goth Teeth Ring

Goth Teeth Ring
Have you always wondered what the tooth fairy does with all those innocent children’s teeth that she collects while she looms in the shadows of the night? She makes goth rings naturally! And parents paid for the honor! This Goth Teeth Ring is strikingly lifelike and set on an adjustable ring band that fits from a 5 to 10 size. Some dentist will buy this ring to scare children into brushing their teeth. Also coming soon to a mental institution and prison near year!

This jewelry has teeth. Get yourself a bite! It looks like a tooth flower. I am enameled with it. I mean enamored.

Krampus Nightmare Elf For Your Shelf

Krampus Nightmare Elf For Your Shelf
We have all heard of Elf on a Shelf, and if you are over the age of 10 you probably wanted to do bodily harm to the little, happy weirdo with the creepy smile. After all, he brings sheer torture to adults, at the same time that he spreads holiday cheer to children across the globe. Supposedly. The creators of Krampus on the Counter obviously despised the cheerful elf when they created their demonic version.

Krampus definitely brings the holiday creep, with his head being a weird combination of a troll and the President of the KISS fan club. His body is bizarrely the same exact size of the Elf on a Shelf; a little too exact for our discomfort. *shudders*

Kraken Cameo Brooch

Kraken Cameo Brooch
Damn son! I always knew the Kraken was some chick’s hair. Yo, I ain’t your shampoo. Leave my ship alone! Why you bathing out here in the middle of the ocean anyway ya giant freak? Your hair smells lovely by the way. There goes half my men overboard. Hopefully, they end up in your hair like cooties. This Kraken Cameo Brooch is wild. Time for a haircut lady.