I hope these Colorful Squid Earrings don’t squirm into your ears and shoot their ink into your brain. I hope they’re squishy and slimy though. Not that I’ll wear them. They don’t match my complexion. My complexion is a nice shade of acne. Just in case you were wondering. Nah. I’m just playing like I’m some young awkward nerd, but really I’m a handsome and debonaire man. Of course, that could be the squid ink on my brain if I did wear these. How would I remember? Squids are weird.
Tag: gift
Devious and Devilish Gothic Troll Statues
These Devilish Gothic Troll Statues are a pair of mischievous motherf***ers. Are they trolls or gargoyles? I have no idea, but they look like they ate something that didn’t agree with them. Like they were talking politics with a pair of frogs, and ended with, “Do you frogs agree or disagree?” Frogs disagreed, so they ate ’em. That’s how troll-gargoyle dudes eat dinner.
Ghost Children Pins Set
I don’t know much about ghost kids, but these Ghost Children Pins are scary as hell. No way I’m babysitting these kids. There’s not enough money in the world- $20 for 8 hours? Of course, I’ll look after your dead little angels. That’s a lot, right? I’m not good with money. I usually just hand it over and hope for the best. Anyway, these pins are two scary-ass ghost kids, one of which got all stabby on the other apparently. I am not responsible for that. Happened before my shift.
I just think they’re pretty and stuff.
Gargoyle Door Knobs Are A-Door-Able
Gargoyles are supposed to protect you right? So why not put some Gargoyle Door Knobs on your door? They will scare away most nuisances like: Religious people with flyers, salespeople with flyers and even people that don’t have flyers. These doorknobs are scary, but also cute. I’m gonna put them on every door in the house. Plus all of my cabinets and even my refrigerator. I’m going full Gargoyle!
Before and After – Bat and Bat Skeleton Paperweight
I used to be a fat bat, but now I’m slim and loving life. It’s all thanks to my new no eating all-guano diet. Check out my before and after. Oh so sexy. Who needs wings anyway. Got myself a nice thigh gap now.
This Bat and Bat Skeleton Paperweight is gonna look great on your desk. It’s a good reminder to keep going with that diet. But you know, not forever. Just sayin’.