I hope these Colorful Squid Earrings don’t squirm into your ears and shoot their ink into your brain. I hope they’re squishy and slimy though. Not that I’ll wear them. They don’t match my complexion. My complexion is a nice shade of acne. Just in case you were wondering. Nah. I’m just playing like I’m some young awkward nerd, but really I’m a handsome and debonaire man. Of course, that could be the squid ink on my brain if I did wear these. How would I remember? Squids are weird.
Tag: squid
Kraken Triptych Wall Art Prints
Yeah, this is what’s Kraken on your walls. These Kraken Triptych Wall Art Prints are kraka-laka-crazy. You can practically hear the screams of seamen as it attacks the boat. I know that sounds sexual, but notice I spelled seamen the right way and everything. So you are the one with their mind in the gutter. I suggest you get it up out of the gutter,rinse it off real good with soap and water and try again. Really. Some people.
Anyway, that ship is full of seamen whether it likes it or not and once the Kraken attacks, that beast is gonna have a whole mouth full of seamen. Bits of seamen will probably be all over it’s face. There’s gonna be seamen spraying everywhere.
It’s a cool set of prints.
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Zombie Squid 3.5 Ft Long Pillow Plush
This Zombie Squid 3.5 Ft Long Pillow Plush has an exposed brain. I like that. Brains are sexy. Why don’t you come on over here and give me a backrub with all of those arms? *Gets slapped silly by tentacles* Fine, we can just cuddle on the couch. Damn! You’re not gonna take my brain right? Fine, then how about a little Netflix and Chill? *Gets slapped silly by tentacles* No, I just meant watching Netflix and having ice cream!
Squid Neckties
These Squid Neckties are almost as good as wearing an actual squid around your neck. In fact they are better. Let’s count the ways.
1- They won’t choke you with their tentacles.
2- Your shirt will not be wet and smell like seaweed.
3- You won’t smell like Squid all day.
4- The ink on these ties won’t shoot in your eye.
5- You can’t hang a bunch of Squid in your closet.
6- You can’t iron and starch a Squid. You can, but the stink!
All great reasons to choose these over a real Squid tie.
Squid Plush Body Pillows
It’s a squid party on the couch and everyone’s invited. Everyone with tentacles that is. You can have your very own squid squad, which sounds like an awesome underwater buddy cop show. I can’t wait to see the pilot. Well, hello Ms. Calamari, so glad you could make it. Squidworth my man, how are you? Give me five…multiple times. I’m just squid-ding around with ya. Don’t spit at me. Think before you ink my brotha! We all gonna Netflix and chill? Not like that my man. You crazy. We’re just gonna hang and have a good time.
When you have a bunch of squid, you’ve either got a party or a dinner. These Giant Squid Plush Body Pillows make it a party. Fill up your couch and snuggle with them all night long. Just don’t cuddle too long. Things get weird. Is it an adult activity at that point? I’m not judging. Just be aware that it’s a fine line between innocence and a weird, plush squid orgy.