Green Glass Eyeball Ring

Green Glass Eyeball Ring
Keep your eye on the prize. Or you know, on your finger. This Green Glass Eyeball Ring is all seeing, all knowing, and all eyeball. Now I’m no pupil of style and fashion, but I’ll ask my friend Iris what she thinks. Get it? That was just a cornea little eyeball joke. You know what they say, booty is in the eye of the beholder. No, I didn’t mistype beauty. Booty is what I look at. It’s in my eye most hours of the day and I am the beholder. I have probably even seen your butt and approved.

Anyway, back to the ring. Not like *ding-ding* entering the boxing ring. This eye ring silly. It’s not bloodshot, it’s not yellow. All in all it’s very healthy looking. I say go for it. Though I can’t tell if it smells, so there is a chance they’ll give ya the stink-eye.
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Crystal Head Vodka Skull Wall Sconce

Crystal Head Vodka Skull Wall Sconce
This Crystal Head Vodka Skull Wall Sconce is fun and crazy. Every time you turn on the light, it’s like *ding*, an idea goes off in his head, but it must be the same idea over and over again cuz he only does one thing. Light up your room. So this is what a sconce is. I always wondered. I thought it was a term for people who come from Wisconsin. I’ve been calling then sconces forever. Oh well. You live you learn. Or in my case, you live and you just blunder your way through life, thanking God for your stupid Forest Gump type luck.

It’s made from a Crystal Head Vodka bottle. Pretty cool. I still can’t believe sconces aren’t from Wisconsin.

You Have Just Been Poisoned Drinking Glass

You Have Just Been Poisoned Drinking Glass
*Glug glug glug. Ahhhhhh. Refreshing.* You Have Just Been Poisoned. What in the holy hemlock? Depending on how fast the poison acts, I have between 2 seconds and 10 hours to solve my own murder. First, who would want to harm me? I’ll never get through that list in time. Who could have done it? I’m here all alone. That’s it! I have another personality and they want me dead. I’ll show them. Fills up the cup with poison and Sunny D. No one can resist Sunny D. Now I just wait for them to show up and drink. *Falls asleep waiting*

*Stretches and yawns as I wake up.* Mouth…so…dry. Mmmmm. Yummy Sunny D. *Glug glug glug* You have just been poisoned.

God Damnit!

Who could have done this? Who wants me dead?

Glow In The Dark Gremlin Stash Jar

Glow In The Dark Gremlin Stash Jar
Stash your stuff inside of a glowing gremlin head. You know you’ve always wanted to. This Glow In The Dark Gremlin Stash Jar is scary and awesome.

There are three rules: No bright light. Well, that’s out the window since the damn thing glows. Don’t get him wet. Seriously. I had one of these things displayed in my bathroom once and god forbid your aim sucks and you pee on the damn thing. I’m talking all hell breaks loose! I zipped up just in time to avoid a bunch of crazy razor teeth. And it was after midnight too. You’re not supposed to feed them after midnight, so thank God this thing didn’t get a midnight sausage. Bright light hurts him, and sunlight can kill him. So there’s that.
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50 Vintage German Prosthetic Eyes: Ach Nein!

german prosthetic fake eyes
50 Vintage German Prosthetic Eyes in the original box. They are from the 1930’s. If you know 25 eyeless Germans, this is one hell of an investment. You could easily double your money. This set is just $3,000.

Eye think I’ll pass. This a corny-a collection.
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