The Plague Doctor will see you now. And so will a smaller one and a smaller one and a smaller one… It’s a plague of them I tells ya! Anyway, these Russian Matryoshka Plague Doctor Nesting Dolls are awesome. I can’t vouch for their Russian-ness, but I’ll keep an eye out and see if they drink a lot of Wodka and make jokes about the cold. Wait, it turns out that the seller is Russian. Russian to give you a great deal on some cool-ass nesting dolls! Hahahahaha. I am so inappropriate.
Tag: gothic
Beautiful Black Raven Brooches
Before we get into these Black raven Brooches, I have to brooch the subject. That subject? Ravens. Also, I witnessed a murder guys. A murder of ravens. It’s a murder of crows you idiot! Shut up! You don’t know what I murdered. Oops! This doesn’t count as a confession does it? I think you might be right. They were crows. How many did you murder? Not sure. I’ll need to enlist the help of a band to find out. Huh? Counting crows… I hate you! Really? Every else is raven about me! Kill me!
Gold Day of the Dead Sugar Skull Necklace
This is one shiny Day of the Dead Sugar Skull Necklace. Bling bling motha truckas! I’m offended cuz I’m a mother who is also a trucker! Oh well ya can’t please everyone. There are more offended people these days then you can shake a dead cat at. I’m calling PETA! Please do, I love their bread. You bastard! Is that a comment about my yeast infection? You woman hating freak. And also, you’re racist. Everybody just calm down. I just wanted to show you this sweet necklace. Damn. Everyone just needs to calm the eff down.
Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set
Oh man. Your bathroom is about to get badass peeps. This Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set is going to look great in your Gothic themed bathroom. What? Don’t we all have Gothic themed bathrooms? Well, I just did mine up real nice with a bat toilet paper holder, stained glass window, some anti-vampire crucifixes and… Wait. You guys didn’t decorate your rooms? Guys, we were all supposed to do it. I’m the only one? Great. We pinky promised and everything. And I didn’t even want to pinky promise cuz it’s not manly, but I did anyway. This really sucks guys!
I just spent like 2 grand on all this! The gargoyle decorations alone cost me $200. Whatevs. I have a sweet Gothic human guano room and you don’t. I like to call it my steam room. As in Cleveland steamer. Oh! Zing! Didn’t see that coming did ya? Hmmmm. I really need to install some ventilation in here.
Misfortune Cookies Anti-Greeting Cards
What’s this? Someone sent me a greeting card! How thoughtful. Oh wait. It’s one of those Misfortune Cookies Anti-Greeting Cards. Not sure if I should be depressed or not. Send these to both your friends and your foes. On the front it says “This message will self-disturb in two seconds”. Then you write whatever you want inside. Pretty awesome and kinda twisted, which is just the way we like it around here. Don’t forget about the company’s actual Misfortune Cookies either. So dark and tasty. Give ’em as a gift and send them a card with it. Perfect.