Tag: gothic

Plague Doctor Doll

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Plague Doctor Doll
The doctor is in. This Plague Doctor Doll looks pretty cool. He’ll keep you safe from the plague. Which I am famous for curing by the way. How did I do it? Through science and chemistry? Through harvesting herbs? Hell no. I just changed the “g” to a “q”. And ever since these Plague doctors have been known as plaque doctors. So instead of battling the plague, they battle plaque in your teeth and in your arteries, while earning awesome plaques for their service which they decorate their offices with.

See, I cured the damn thing. I don’t even get any credit. Awesome Plague Doctor Doll anyway.

While we are talking Plague Docs, check out this cool Plague Doctor Statue.

Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket
At first, I thought that this Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket was where you keep the hearts of your enemies, but it’s just shaped like a heart. With an awesome skull on it too. Me? I wear my heart on my sleeve, not my pocket, so you could say I have a heart-on. And it is painted on my sleeve with a fire and barb wire design. So you could say it is a raging heart-on. Get it? No you don’t because I’m saving myself. For myself later tonight. It’s going to be very romantic, with candles, a bath and lots and lots of crying. But I definitely have a heart-on for this gothic decor. This wall pocket is perfect for a blood rose or some deadly herbs. It has an old world charm with a suitable creepy vibe for your home.

Wall pockets make me think of hot pockets, so now I’m hungry. I’m off to get some food, but before I go, don’t forget that you can also check out this cool Black Heart Soap. They look just like real hearts, but instead of blood on your hands, you’ll get soap all over your hands. Soap is much better.

Dark Violin Art – Wood Carved Skull and Bones

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Dark Violin Art - Wood Carved Skull and Bones
This is just the kind of weird art that we love. When was the last time you saw dark violin art that looked this cool? At a Yo Yo Ma concert? These violins from EngraversDungeonArt are more like Yo Yo WTF! I’ve never seen a musical instrument looking so cool and creepy. They have several designs available to grace your gothic halls and walls. Just be aware that this is a limited edition piece, with only 50 pieces that will ever be created and painted. So you better be quick about it. If you miss out, I’m just gonna laugh at you and play the world’s tiniest violin. You don’t want that because it sounds like a bunch of alley cats in heat and all in a pile doing the nasty, and they are not having fun. You ever hear that? Thank your lucky stars that you have not. Your ears would never be the same. Ask my former music teacher. Well, you could have asked him, but sadly now he’s deaf and shaking in a rubber room somewhere. This art is absolutely stunning, though. No bones about it. This classes up your castle while adding just the right amount of beautiful darkness.

Black Raven With Secret Key

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Black Raven With Secret Key
So this is what everyone is raven about. This Black Raven With Secret Key is the perfect decor for your garden. What’s the key to? Your heart of course. How the hell should I know? They love shiny things. I should know since they keep pecking at my jewels. The family jewels that is. Why attack my crotch? What the hell is wrong with these black ravens? Must be my shiny zipper. I can’t even go outside anymore.

Yeah, so this one’s not for me, but you’ll probably love it. I’m better off with these stained glass ravens. But I can’t stop asking myself what that key is for? Is it a key to raven headquarters? Does he have all of the shiny stuff that he collected locked up in a vault and he keeps it close so no one can steal it all? Is he teaching other ravens to do this? Are we going to see birds everywhere wearing a key like this, maybe two or three, all decked out like Mr. T? I have so many questions and the bird ain’t talking. He ain’t even squawking. Mostly I just want to take a peek at his super secret stash.

Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt
Gang gang! This Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt is some serious gang shizz. The coffin gang. Definitely, the bloods then, not the crypts. Wear it and show your colors cuz you know the werewolf gang on the upper east side ain’t playin’ and stuff is about to pop off! They been lifting their legs in our hood and showing disrespect, pissing on every fire hydrant like the dogs they are. It’s war. It’s also starting to really smell bad.

Fresh out of your coffin? Also, check out this Coffin Zen Garden.

Straight Outta The Coffin

Ain’t been out dat often

My and my possie out for blood.

Pants are outta fashion

Like I’m expecting a flood.

Sipping O Negative like it was a positive

From my gothic pimp cup. It’s my prerogative.

Flying through the night with my bat homies

Sucking from the neck of a chick named Naomi.

I ain’t playing no garlic, I ain’t playing no cross.

Gotta make a note so I don’t forget to floss.

Teeth are all filed sharp as a razor.

I’m marking each victim with a mother f***ing laser.

Back to my coffin cuz I’m tired as sh*t

Been drinkin’ all night and it’s time to quit.