Tag: halloween

Glow In The Dark Edgar Allan Poe Necklace

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Glow In The Dark Edgar Allan Poe Necklace
Check out this cool Edgar Allan Glow, I mean Edgar Allan Poe Necklace. It glows and glows and glows while Edgar Poes and Poes and Poes. No worries. You won’t be a Poe-ser if you wear this awesome necklace. And no one will call the fashion Poe-lice. You think your current necklace is this cool? Poe-lease! This Edgar Allan Poe Necklace is Poe-sitively Poe-tent!

Too much? Sorry.

*Sings*

He’s just a Poe boy from a Poe family, spare him his life from this monstrosity.
Easy come, easy go, will you wear this Poe?

Now I’m done.

Blood Splattered Coffin Coasters

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Blood Splattered Coffin Coasters
These Blood Splattered Coffin Coasters make every drink a morbid margarita, a deadly daiquiri, a corpsey cocktail, a macabre manhattan, a terrorizing Tom Collins, Death on the beach, a tequila of terror, a scary screwdriver, or a Long Island iced terror. Just set your drink down on one of these coasters, otherwise the wife will be putting you in a box and burying you six feet deep. Why do ya think I drink so much?

Gross Monster Spoon Rests

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Gross Monster Spoon Rests
Open up and say ahhh you ugly MFer! Just gonna put my spoon down here. Gonna press it against your tongue all doctor like and check for ugly. Yeah you’re ugly alright. I don’t have a prescription for that, but I can give you some morphine so you forget and remove all of the mirrors in your house. These Gross Monster Spoon Rests are gross and grody and gag me with a spoony.

Gross Monster Spoon Rests

Gross Monster Spoon Rests

Skeleton Door Handles

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Skeleton Door Handles
These Skeleton Door Handles are awesome. Just grab some spine and come on in. It’s perfect for a chiropractors office. If you want customers to turn away the minute they get to the door that is. It must have been back-breaking work to create these. If I pull too hard on these, I’m not responsible for any slipped discs right? If I break these spines while opening the door, am I gonna be charged for breaking (spines) and entering? Okay, cool. I’m coming in.

The Graveyard Halloween Pillow

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The Graveyard Halloween Pillow
Normally you don’t wanna rest your head in a graveyard until you bite the big one, until you lay down for the big sleep, bite the bullet, buy the farm, kick the bucket, bite the dust, give up the ghost, shuffle off this mortal coil… But in this case it’s alright. You’re just visiting. And when you raise your head off of this Graveyard Halloween Pillow after a long nap, you can look back at it and laugh at death. Ha ha! Until next time sucker.

Isn’t the human language awesome? It’s called a graveyard, cuz it is a yard full of graves. But if I put graves in my yard, everybody throws a fit! Waaaa. That guy is creepy, that guy is sick. He’s evil! Where’d he get the bodies? It’s a health hazard! Stupid neighborhood laws. They’re just tombstones people! They just happen to have the names of my enemies. Oh you’re on my list now. All of you. My graveyard just grew by like 30 names. You want some of this? Let’s go! RIP in my yard. I mean RI PEE, cuz I pee in my yard sucka! So there. How do ya like that? Bring it!