Creepy Garden Skull

Creepy Garden Skull

I don’t know about you, but sometimes people dig in their garden and they find some bones. It’s scary as hell. I just want to tend to my roses, not be a part of some investigation. Anyway, this Creepy Garden Skull is perfect if you actually want to creep up the garden. Just drop it among your flowers and your garden bed instantly becomes a lot cooler. I beg your pardon, I never promised you a skull garden…

It looks pretty authentic too. You know what they call that shocked feeling when you find a skull in your yard. Skully-osis. I’m pretty sure. I know about stuff like that. Just set this Creepy Garden Skull in your garden and then sit back and watch the neighbors talk. It’s fun. Speaking of cool garden and home accessories that are on the dark side, these Stained Glass Ravens are pretty sweet too.

Bat & Coffin Toilet Paper Holders

Bat & Coffin Toilet Paper Holders

These Bat & Coffin Toilet Paper Holders will scare the s**t out of you, but the good news is that you have plenty of TP. This decor is the best way to take a creepy caca. Or a great guano. You know, what bats do. You can choose one or buy both. You’d have to be batty to not buy these awesome Bat & Coffin Toilet Paper Holders.

They will look amazing with these Gothic Bat Hand Towels if you have a bat theme. And who doesn’t? You have to have bats in your belfry. You just have to. Bats are cool! Now for a little song. *clears throat* The bats in the Belfast belfry had a bewildered and bedazzled breakfast break before Brian the brainiest began breaking bad before a beleaguered and big breasted basilisk in a busted bra bragged and belittled the bastid!

Ok. that was not so much a song as it was the mating call of a mentally ill writer. But hey, that’s a lot of B words. I have a great vocabulary. The point is that I need these pieces of bat decor in my life. It’s called the bat room not the bathroom. Deal with it.

Plague Doctor Lamp – Adorable Ambience

Plague Doctor Lamp - Adorable Ambience

Plague doctor, plague doctor what’s all the fuss? Been waiting for 4 hours, draining out the pus. P doctor, where you been? 50 in the graveyard and more to go in. That’s a little song. Let’s just call that in progress. Anywho, check out this creepy and cool Plague Doctor Lamp. Isn’t that little guy adorable? He’s reading by lantern light. Probably brushing up on his bedside manner or something. Not that he needs to. This guy is cute as hell and you’ll feel better just knowing that he’s on the case.

He just makes me smile. This Plague Doctor Lamp is the perfect light to read by and if you feel ill, well the doctor is in. You can choose from several different lamp colors. It pairs well with this Plague Doctor Doll. I’m obsessed with both.

Mushroom Skeleton Art Doll – Macabre Mycelium

Mushroom Skeleton Art Doll - Macabre Mycelium

I think I saw something like this Mushroom Skeleton Art Doll once when I was trippin’ balls. It taught me the ways of the forest and had me eat all of it’s friends. Man, I spent a year in the forest that weekend. Look at this gal with her deathly bonnet. This is what Tim Burton’s Little House on the Prairie looks like. Growing in the shade of a tree, just waiting for something to pass by so she can be all deadly.

Unlike these skull mushrooms, this Mushroom Skeleton Art Doll is deadly cute. Dare I say sexy? We would get along good, cuz I’m also a fun-guy. Did I hear one of you groan at that joke? Oh spore me! Like you could do better. Mycelium is better than your-celium.

Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker

Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker

For the refined lady with a touch of darkness. I present to you the Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker. You are refined and intelligent, regal. But you long for the vampire’s breath gently caressing your neck, suddenly growing hot as he bares his teeth and goes in for the bite. At first, the pain is unbearable, but quickly becomes ecstatic. Your essence rushes out, pumped by his lustful need- Oh shizz, I was saying that out loud as I typed and now everyone at the library is looking at me. Hey, it’s where I write sometimes. That librarian must have dry lips. She keeps licking them as she watches me. Get some ChapStick freak!

Anyway, if you crave the excitement of vampiric exsanguination, but lack either a nearby vampire or good looks, this Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker is the next best thing. Look at that sophisticated and stylish splatter. Sexy! Now that’s a necklace!