Someone Has A Serious Case Of Ouija Head

Ouija board head dollMany come from miles away to talk to the dead. She watches them watching her. She can feel the planchette tracing words on her face. She speaks the words aloud, forming sentences. The ghosts’ hands are cold. So very cold.

Yeah. That’s what happens when you have a Ouija board for a head. Kind of looks like a Pop-Tart too. Now there’s a combination. Communicate with the other side and then take a bite out of it. Well, I’m off to secure the patent folks. When next we meet, I will be blogging from my personal jet.

This creepy and cute doll comes from Etsy seller ForeverFall. Sadly, the item is sold, but if you ask real nice, maybe they will make you one. Full image below.
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OMG Selfie Doll!

selfie dollNo need to go catching your BFF’s lice and other cooties, because you always lean in close and bump heads for those selfies. Just get this Etsy seller to make you a selfie doll instead. Take a picture of the doll whenever you need a selfie. Or put the doll against your friend’s head and take a selfie, that way your doll is getting your BFF’s scalp scabies and other nasties. Let’s face it, your friends ain’t clean. You know when your leg itches for no reason whatsoever? That was a rogue crab from your best friend Judy’s moldy clam. It was just saying hi.

Etsy seller Mahinarium will make you a selfie doll for $87.38, with up to two pieces of clothing.

Horror Nesting Doll Set

horror nesting dollsThis set of horror nesting dolls are all separated and not nesting because basically they would all just cut each other to shreds so that when you opened it, it would be nothing but blood and broken dolls. That’s because these guys are hardcore.

You have Jason Vorhees, Freddy Krueger, Mike Myers, Ghost face from Scream and Chuckie. Only $25. These guys scare the bejesus out of me.

I mean that in a very Matryoshka doll way too. They scare me so much that a bejesus (Whatever that is) will burst out from inside of me, looking all pale and Golem-like, then a little clown will burst out of him. Then a tiny furry dancing gnome will burst from his chest and run out into the night screaming. No really. That just happened! I think somebody spiked my drink again- Here come the fire ants with heads of actors that I hate!

This Teddy Bear Has Teeth

artist teddy bearLike seriously. A lot of freakin’ teeth. You might want to put braces on that bro. His name is Eustace and he is seriously creeping me out. He’s all black gums and teeth. I swear, I can hear him going all nom nom nom and clicking those teeth as he moves closer-*jumping out of my flabby blogger skin*

Nevermind. That was my grandma asking how much medication is too much. Same answer as always granny. If you can interact with me, you need more. And for the last time, my name is not “false teeth clicking” mixed with “gum smacking” and followed by an old person sigh.

Anyway, where was I? I have no idea. Neglecting old people is tough work. Oh yeah, this thing looks like it posed for a mutant yearbook. He is most likely to succeed…In biting your face off.

More pics below
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Michael Myers Beer Cozy

Michael Myers Beer CozyIt’s Michael Myers from Halloween. As a beer cozy. Keep your drink cold with a crazed and crocheted slasher. Sadly, drinking your beer with this cozy will not allow you to drink yourself dead and then just rise up like Michael Myers does after getting killed. Only $45. from Etsy.