Check out this cool Skull Bracelet peeps! Memento Mori biatches! It’s wearable art for your wrist with a creepy twist. That rhymes cuz I’m a poet and didn’t know it. I rhymed it, I timed it, I acted out and mimed it. So there. This bracelet is perfect. A vintage bracelet with a cotton fabric skull-pture!
Tag: soft
Funko Mopeez Classic Horror Plushies
Feeling mopey? Yeah, me too.It’s cuz I don’t have any of these Funko Mopeez Classic Horror Plushies. I knew I was missing something in my life. It was a bunch of cuddly horror movie killers. You know what else is a horror movie killer? Diarrhea! Well, it’s a movie killer in general. Too many milk duds and a river of coke in my stomach. That’s why I always bring a change of pants to the theater. Lifehacks people!
Zombie Squid 3.5 Ft Long Pillow Plush
This Zombie Squid 3.5 Ft Long Pillow Plush has an exposed brain. I like that. Brains are sexy. Why don’t you come on over here and give me a backrub with all of those arms? *Gets slapped silly by tentacles* Fine, we can just cuddle on the couch. Damn! You’re not gonna take my brain right? Fine, then how about a little Netflix and Chill? *Gets slapped silly by tentacles* No, I just meant watching Netflix and having ice cream!
Become A Needle Felted Zombie
Hey guys, let’s all become Needle Felted Zombies. You get the yarn, I’ll poke you with needles. Etsy seller DarlinGirlCreations will create a zombie in your likeness. Not mine. That one on the right looks about right for me, except I’m usually passed out on a chair with Cheeto drool dripping from my mouth. Otherwise it’s uncanny. Like an X-Man. I’m Drool-verine. *Snnnkkkk! Extends my metal claws and starts needle felting zombies like Edward Scissorhands after happy hour.*
Looks at my masterpieces. Ohhhhhhh. Needle felted right? For some reason I heard “Beetle Felted Zombies”. Now what am I gonna do with 4 felted beetle zombies? Hmmmm. I know. Felt undead Beatles tribute band!
Huge Stuffed Crab
Huge Stuffed Crab! Huge Stuffed Crab! What’s it stuffed with? I don’t know. Probably your hopes and dreams and kitten wishes, all riding on the fragrant wind of unicorn farts. This stuffed crab is huge! XXL at least.
I haven’t seen crabs this big since the STD clinic near Fukushima got hit with gamma radiation. Don’t make these crabs angry. You wouldn’t like them when they’re angry. They get all crabby. Which is pretty much expected from a crab actually. They are grabby and crabby. They’ll pinch you and make you all scabby.
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