Tag: hanger

Frankenstein Hand Wall Hook or Guitar Hanger

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Frankenstein Hand Wall Hook or Guitar Hanger
Everybody give a hand to the Frankenstein Hand Wall Hook or Guitar Hanger! *Crowd goes wild* Pretty handy. I’d read his palm, but I would have him in stitches. I have a million of ’em. Like this one:

What do you say when Dr. Frankenstein creates a pile of smokey goo instead of a re-animated monster? Then leaves it sit overnight smelling rotten? *Clears throat* I say, “To the Victor go the spoils…” Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha. Cuz his name is Victor and it is spoiled! Man, I crack myself up. Mostly cuz I’m on crack, but I’mma pretty funny dude too.

Raven Claw Wall Mounted Hook

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Raven Claw Wall Mounted Hook
This Raven Claw Wall Mounted Hook is gonna come in real handy. I’m gonna mount it low on the wall and use it to scratch my back. You can use it as a coat hook, a jewelry hanger, you can put a crystal ball in it’s talons and make it look all creepy. It’s awesome cuz it looks like a bird just punched through your wall and is trying to grab at you. Just be careful when installing it. You have to be very talon-tid. ha ha ha ha ha. Not really that funny, I know. You know what is funny? Hanging one of those fake scrotums you see on the back of pick-up trucks in it’s talons. I am such an awesome interior designer! No need to thank me.

Zombie Hand Guitar Hanger And Wall Hook

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zombie hands

Looking for a place to hang your guitar? This Zombie Hand Guitar Hanger And Wall Hook will do. You know, I’m sick of everyone perpetuating the war with zombies. I’m a peacemaker. I’m also a hell of a pizza maker, but that’s another story. Anyway, I would use this Zombie Hand to practice my diplomatic skills. And you can too.

First hang it low on the wall.
Next approach it slowly.
Then gently take the hand and shake it. Say “How do you do? My name is so and so. No, not sew and sew, that’s my grandmother.” Talk about how your peoples have been at war long enough and that it is time for a new golden age of friendship. Talk about Hope. Change. Say, Yes We can.

Then just do a 180 and cut the zombie’s damn fingers off if he doesn’t cooperate cuz that’s how politics works and they are all lying bastards. No wonder zombies hate you.