Tag: wall hook

Frankenstein Hand Wall Hook or Guitar Hanger

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Frankenstein Hand Wall Hook or Guitar Hanger
Everybody give a hand to the Frankenstein Hand Wall Hook or Guitar Hanger! *Crowd goes wild* Pretty handy. I’d read his palm, but I would have him in stitches. I have a million of ’em. Like this one:

What do you say when Dr. Frankenstein creates a pile of smokey goo instead of a re-animated monster? Then leaves it sit overnight smelling rotten? *Clears throat* I say, “To the Victor go the spoils…” Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha. Cuz his name is Victor and it is spoiled! Man, I crack myself up. Mostly cuz I’m on crack, but I’mma pretty funny dude too.

Zombie Hand Guitar Hanger And Wall Hook

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zombie hands

Looking for a place to hang your guitar? This Zombie Hand Guitar Hanger And Wall Hook will do. You know, I’m sick of everyone perpetuating the war with zombies. I’m a peacemaker. I’m also a hell of a pizza maker, but that’s another story. Anyway, I would use this Zombie Hand to practice my diplomatic skills. And you can too.

First hang it low on the wall.
Next approach it slowly.
Then gently take the hand and shake it. Say “How do you do? My name is so and so. No, not sew and sew, that’s my grandmother.” Talk about how your peoples have been at war long enough and that it is time for a new golden age of friendship. Talk about Hope. Change. Say, Yes We can.

Then just do a 180 and cut the zombie’s damn fingers off if he doesn’t cooperate cuz that’s how politics works and they are all lying bastards. No wonder zombies hate you.

Squirrel Foot Key Holder

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squirrel foot key holder
I’ve never had a squirrel punch it’s little hand through my wall and present keys to me, but I’m super stoked that this is now a possibility in my life. This Squirrel Foot Key Holder can make it happen. The little furry dude would put a hole in my wall, hold out the keys for me and I would hand him his nuts that I keep in my pocket.

I’m off to the store. Boom! Here’s your keys! I’m out. Keys! Now! Boom! Here you are boss. Sweeeeeet! Of course, within about 2 weeks my hallway would look like swiss cheese from all of the holes in the wall. Then I’d have to get my keys in another room. And another. And another. Until the house falls down all around me one day and I see that little hand punch up out of the debri, offering me my keys one last time. *teary eyed*
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