What’s with all of the mythical creatures stealing gnomes? First we had Bigfoot kidnapping gnomes and now this Garden Gnome Kidnapped By Gargoyles Statue. What, is there some kind of gnome shortage in their world that we don’t know about? Why do you need gnomes in your world anyway? Hell if I know. Maybe they worship them or something. I just want to say one thing: Gnome more Gnome stealing.
Tag: home decor
Desktop Gothic Goblins Have Big Mouths
Need some goblins for your desk? These Desktop Gothic Goblins should do the trick. They have a big mouth that you can shove stuff in. Like loose change, paper clips, candy and more. Whoa dude, nice tonsils. This is basically how I look sitting at my desk too when I play the, “Let’s see how many things I can fit in my mouth” game. I’m a walking choking hazard.
This Krampus Night Light Makes it a Scary Christmas
Krampus never sleeps. And neither does this scary Krampus Night Light. Krampus will be with you throughout the night. But is he protecting you or waiting for you to fall asleep so he can reward you for being naughty this year? I have no idea, but I want to put an everlasting gobstopper in that mouth, because the tongue really freaks me out.
Mirrored Skeleton Candle Holder
There’s nothing better than seeing your own reflection framed by a pair of skeletons just hanging around as if they’re admiring your beauty. And why wouldn’t they? That is one beautiful man-face if I do say so myself. I just realized that this Mirrored Skeleton Candle Holder would have the candle obscuring my face, but that’s okay, I’m secure enough in my good looks that no one can hold a candle to me. I don’t mean to wax on about it. Let me just light that candle and have one more look. Gotta lean in close and get a good gander. AHHHHH. IT BURNS! IT BURNS! And now you have heard the story of how I came to have a profession where I don’t need to show my face. Cuz now I have a face that’s only good for blogging and radio. Let this be a cautionary tale about unrestrained vanity and a man who peered too close to the sun for one last glimpse of perfection. JK I look effin beautiful. I make my livin’ off this face. I let blind people feel it so they can orgasm. True story.
Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees Lawn Gnomes
These Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees Lawn Gnomes will make your garden a nightmare on elf street. Yeah, I know an elf is different than a gnome. You try to come up with clever word play after downing a pint of Nyquil! No, I don’t have a cold. Was just a night cap. Anyway, these horror icons want to hang out in your garden looking scary and gnomy. Hey, there;s nothing wrong with gnomes. Some of Hollywood’s best actors and actresses are gnomes. Like Gnomy Watts for instance. Great actress.