You know what these Hand Carved Stone Alien Coasters mean? It means that these aliens got stoned! What? Nothin’? Tough room. I’ll try to come up with a new slate of jokes. Anyway, these coasters are pretty cool. They’ll protect your surfaces from stains and spills, while reminding you to clench up those butt cheeks. Gotta get those muscles tight. Just in case, ya know? If they can’t get the probes in, the humans win. Simple as that. If it don’t fit, they must acquit and put ya back in bed.
Tag: home decor
Octopus Treasure Chest Trinket Box
Why do Octopi always wrap themselves around treasure boxes? It’s like they can’t resist them. I have no idea, but I know what I’m gonna do the next time I need to distract an octopus. I’m gonna dress a treasure chest up in a bikini and whistle, then throw my voice and say, “Hey big boy.” Then I can get the real treasure chest. Guess I showed you Octo-loser! You can raise all of your tentacles into fists all you want, but I’m rich! I’m rich! And you’re just a bit- Stop hugging my face with your tentacles! Where are you dragging me? I guess I didn’t really think this through. Shoulda just bought an Octopus Treasure Chest Trinket Box.
Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set
Oh man. Your bathroom is about to get badass peeps. This Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set is going to look great in your Gothic themed bathroom. What? Don’t we all have Gothic themed bathrooms? Well, I just did mine up real nice with a bat toilet paper holder, stained glass window, some anti-vampire crucifixes and… Wait. You guys didn’t decorate your rooms? Guys, we were all supposed to do it. I’m the only one? Great. We pinky promised and everything. And I didn’t even want to pinky promise cuz it’s not manly, but I did anyway. This really sucks guys!
I just spent like 2 grand on all this! The gargoyle decorations alone cost me $200. Whatevs. I have a sweet Gothic human guano room and you don’t. I like to call it my steam room. As in Cleveland steamer. Oh! Zing! Didn’t see that coming did ya? Hmmmm. I really need to install some ventilation in here.
Macabre Tumbler Glass Set
Have a cool glass of macabre with this Macabre Tumbler Glass Set. Reminds me of that one song. Macabre on the rocks. Ain’t no surprise. Just pour me a drink and I’ll tell ya some lies… This set includes four 11oz. glasses that include moth, scarab beetle, skull and anatomical heart designs. These are gonna look good in my bar. Right next to the drunk who keeps running up a tab. The drunk is me. The drunk is I. The drunk is sleepy. Now leave me alone so I can pass out so hard that I don’t know whether I’m passing out or passing in. But I can tell ya, I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
OW! That Hurts! – Puffer Fish Taxidermy Lamps
These Puffer Fish Taxidermy Lamps are all puffed up and spiky cuz these guys are the porcupines of the sea. Well, now you can light up your home with them. Hopefully without these things stabbing you as you hang them up. Hey, if your carpet isn’t a puddle of blood and if you haven’t lost an eye while redecorating, your lamps just aren’t cool enough. Pretty cool though. Just have an emergency professional handy when these arrive. And whatever you do, don’t sit on them by accident while having your coffee.