This Posable Crocodile Doll is creepy and awesome. I’m thinking about getting it so I have a buddy that I can do the Crocodile Rock with and we can shed crocodile tears together as we bitch about what a crock it all is. Is it a baby? An adult? I have no idea, but it looks hungry. He needs some Crocks for his feet. That seems appropriate. Anyway, later alligators, after while crocodiles. I can’t look at it anymore.
Tag: home decor
Vampire in Coffin Table Lamp
You know the best part about this Vampire in Coffin Table Lamp? It showed me how to beat vampires. Just put a lamp over their coffin. That way they can’t get out. Cuz of the light.
That’s not sunlight dumbass.
*Mocks you* “That’s not sunlight.” Idiot. Where do you think light bulbs come from? They capture sunlight and put it in a bulb. Duh. That’s how light works. Here’s another fun fact: Even water from the Pope’s toilet is holy water and will kill most vampires. But that may just be cuz of germs.
RIP Tombstone Pillow For When You Are Dead Tired
This Tombstone Pillow lets you Rest In Peace. Just lay your head down on this comfy pillow and I’ll try not to put some Xs over your eyes and make ya look all dead like. No promises. I would use pennies, but I’m all out. Used my entire change jar full of pennies to pay for taco bell. I’ll tell ya what’s not resting in peace: My colon!
Horror Magnets For Your Fridge
Deck your fridge out in all kinds of horror. No, besides all that GMO stuff you have inside. These Horror Magnets For Your Fridge are gonna look awesome. They have some really cool movies. Like Demon Wind. I broke Demon Wind once and cleared out an entire movie theater. Good times. Now I can have those memories on my fridge.
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Fruit Bat Skeleton in Coffin
This Fruit Bat Skeleton in Coffin is resting in peace. Not enough fruit I guess. Maybe the fruit was poisoned. Sad story. It was someone’s son or daughter fruit bat. The fruit of their loins. Probably wore fruit of the loom underwear. I’m gonna call him Fruity. Fruity the fruit bat. RIP fruity! RIP.