This Freddy Krueger Slasher Pillow is cool and all, but how come everytime I lay my head on it, I wake up with slash marks on my face.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
And Freddy slashes at my cheek.
If I should die before I wake,
F-U Freddy my soul ain’t yours to take!
Get out my dreams you freak!
Mirror, mirror on the wall- What the? Either I just turned into a beautiful pale woman or there’s a ghost in my mirror. Hey baby. I would say, “My place or yours”, but clearly you already chose my place. This Ghost in the Mirror Wall Plaque will liven up your home. Hopefully she’s always stuck and doesn’t fully emerge one day. I’m gonna get one and hang my keys from her fingers, until she goes back into mirror-world one day and steals them. But that’s cool. She can get away with anything cuz I’m kinda attracted to her. Not that I have a ghost of a chance with her.
You can either buy these awesome Tentacle Winestoppers or do like I do and keep a caged octopus on your kitchen counter. I just set my wine down and bonk him on the head, until he sticks a tentacle in my bottle. That’s probably why my wine tastes like Calamari. You want some water? Huh? You better cooperate! My Coke was tasting pretty flat last I checked too. Arghhhh! Stop strangling me!
The Shadow of Doom: Skull and Bones Candlestick is heavy on the doom, but light on the gloom. It may even light up your room. Looks like I’m a poet and didn’t even know it. Bones… That’s what we need more of in our homes. Just make sure you feed it the perfect amount of calcium and this candlestick will be with you forever. Gotta take care of them bones.
Let Freddy Krueger lend a hand this Halloween. This Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Krueger Grave Hand Candy Bowl Holder is just what you need to scare those sugared-up kids who ring your doorbell. Trick or treat. Smell Freddy’s feet. Let Freddy give you something good to eat. Then he’s gonna eat your soul! Hey. Why are you all running away and dropping candy all over the place? Whatever. More for me. This was all part of my plan. Scare kids, sweep up tons of dropped candy and score big this Halloween. Sadly, all of the good candy sinks to the bottom of their bags. All I got is candy corn here!