Mad Monsters Series 1 Action Figures – Why So Angry?

Mad Monsters Series 1 Action Figures

You mad bro? Drop rip my face off k? Do you like monsters? Do you like retro toys? These Mad Monsters Series 1 Action Figures are what you want to play with. You get Human Wolfman, Dreadful Dracula, Monster Frankenstein and Horrible Mummy. Why is Mummy horrible? Cuz she never leaves me alone when I’m playing video games and always makes me clean the cat box and stuff. Whatevs. She’s not the boss of me. I do what I want! I’m getting really off track here. The point is, these figures are cool.
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Handcrafted Critter Horror Toy

Handcrafted Critter Horror Toy
Look. A Critter Horror toy! Critters are the worst. You get with the wrong woman in the wrong part of town and you got nothin’ but critters all over your junk and the pharmacist is all like, “This’ll get rid of ’em” so you lather your firepole and bean bags up real good and nothin’. You still got critters everywhere, bitin’ and itchin’, making your junk feel like a whopper cuz it’s all flame broiled down there at this point. These guys are nasty.

The Classic Monster Coffin Blu-Ray Collection – 8 Disc Box Set

The Classic Monster Coffin Blu-Ray Collection – 8 Disc Box Set
Imma sit back and relax on Halloween, watch my favorite monsters. Then after I’ve had enough of watching my parents fight Imma watch this The Classic Monster Coffin Blu-Ray Collection – 8 Disc Box Set. This is really the first time anything good has ever come out of a coffin. Except for that time I stole my uncle Henry’s rolex at the viewing.

This set gives you Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, Bride of Frankenstein and The Wolf Man.

Real Working Uncle Fester Lamp

Real Working Uncle Fester Lamp
This Real Working Uncle Fester Lamp is not just some dude that had a light bulb shoved in his word-hole cuz he wouldn’t shut up. It’s a real lamp based on the scene in The Addams Family. Now he can light up your room and your life. I think he needs sleep. Those bags under his eyes don’t look good. This thing is pretty creepy all lit up in the dark. I think it needs a lampshade that is a muzzle. That would be even scarier.

Horror Happy Meals

Horror Happy Meals
These Horror Happy Meals don’t seem all that kid friendly to me. Which I like. They were made by graphic designer Newt Cloninger-Clements. La-de-da, I have three names. Sorry. Did I actually type that? I’ll stand by it. Even though I think three names are excessive. Anyway, this guy made a ton of mock-ups of some more adult, horror-themed Happy Meals. There’s Stranger Things, Ash Vs. The Evil Dead, American Horror Story, and many more. Check out his Twitter and Pinterest for more.
They come with some sweet toys, I’ll give him that. Now I have to wait for him to open a fast food place so I can collect them all.
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