This Cthulhu Journal looks pretty friggin’ cool man. Use it as a diary, or a journal, or a place to write your awesome yet unappreciated Cthulhu fan fiction titled “Titillated By Tentacles” aka Miskatonic Mistress. Or “A tentacle fondled my mountains of madness.” Or just you know, use it for grocery lists or something. But I really want to read your fan fiction. Sounds exciting and neurotic. I mean erotic. I mean. I don’t know what I mean.
Tag: horror
Dracula Novel Book Scarf
Man, I really love this book. I’m all wrapped up in it. Get it? I’m all wrapped up in this Dracula Novel Book Scarf. Vlad the impaler? More like Vlad, the ensconcer. It’s a novel. It’s a scarf. For all I know, it’s a novel about a young scarf who thinks it’s a novel, but really it’s a drug-addled guy who is scarfing some food down. That’s some head-trippy inception stuff right there. Mind blown by that theory! Good think that theory bought my mind dinner first. Do I even know what I’m saying? I wouldn’t put money on it.
Read more “Dracula Novel Book Scarf”
Mini Vampire Kits
These Mini Vampire Kits will come in real handy if I get attacked by a tiny blood sucker. That’s why I’m taking one of these with me in the woods. You know, ticks. Tiny bloodsuckers. Also should be good against midget politicians. And it might help you against doctors bearing tiny syringes. There are a lot of tiny blood suckers out there now that I think about it. This will help.
Stainless Steel Skull Head Whiskey Chillers
Time to chill baby. With some Stainless Steel Skull Head Whiskey Chillers. And my whiskey definitely needs to chill. It was getting all uppity earlier and cursin’ up a storm. Gonna throw some of these in a glass and make it calm the f**k down! My Gin doesn’t act like that so WTF?
These skulls will chill any drink without watering it down. That’s what your kids are for. (They steal your booze and water it down. I don’t mean dunking their heads in your booze to chill it.)
Read more “Stainless Steel Skull Head Whiskey Chillers”
Necronomicon Light Switch Plate
Holy Necronomicon Batman! This Necronomicon Light Switch Plate will make me way to scared to turn the lights off. Or on. Turn ’em off and I’ll be too scared of some portal to hell opening up and swallowing me whole as Cthulhu devours my soul. Turn ’em on and that Necronomicon face will scare the bejesus out of me and I got very little bejesus left!
Read more “Necronomicon Light Switch Plate”