Tag: horror

Skulls And Ravens Bookends

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skulls And Ravens Bookends
Oh my stars and garters! (Whatever that means.) Oh my skulls and ravens. These Skulls And Ravens Bookends are creeptastic and awesome. It’s a well known fact that ravens like to perch on skulls. I can’t even walk to my car without a raven landing on my head, but then it leaves because I have too much skin and hair and stuff. It sits on a tree branch somewhere just waiting and watching. Waiting for my demise so that it can perch on my bare skull.

This is why I run to my car and never ever look up.

Cheetos Demon Horror Doll

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cheetos Demon Horror DollHoly cheesy Cheetos Batman! This Cheetos Demon Horror Doll eats to live and lives to eat. I guess you really are what you eat. Check out his little Cheeto pocket on his chest. I think I have that same outfit. *Looks down* I’m wearing it now! *Reaches for Cheetos. Om nom nom nom!* It makes sense that a Cheeto demon baby would prefer the Flamin’ Hot flavor! Me too!

*Keeps eating Cheeetos* Oh shizz! My skin is turning orange too. I’m a Cheeto demon nightmare! Wait. Nevermind. My skins been that way for years. It’s coated with the dust of a million snacks. Just like this guy. Hello brotha from anotha cheesy snack motha!

Creepy Gothic Crow Doll

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Creepy Gothic Crow Doll
This Creepy Gothic Crow Doll is caw caw cool. I’m gonna name it Alistair Crow-ly cuz he/she looks like an evil magician type.Then I’m gonna take more black and white pictures of him/her. Do you know that the bird is the word? Bird bird bird, bird is the word!

Horror Movie VHS Pillows

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Horror Movie VHS Pillows
Be kind. Rewind. Hell no. I fast forwarded every VHS tape I ever rented. Take that, now defunct and obsolete media! These Horror Movie VHS Pillows are much better than renting movies on VHS. There’s no rewinding, no grainy picture, just you cuddling up with a horror movie in a super soft VHS format. Rest your head on a movie about the undead. Rest your butt on a movie about a serial killer nut.

Creature From The Black Lagoon Lager

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Creature From The Black Lagoon Lager
I don’t always drink Creature From The Black Lagoon Lager, but when I do, I put a bottle in each gill. Then I lean back with my arms out and let that sweet joy-juice paint my insides. Sadly there’s no actual alcohol in this bottle, but it will look good on your shelf. It’s awesome cuz the creature looks drunk. Like totally sauced. “Hiccup. Yeaz, so I’m the preacher of da black login. Just div us another drink. Hiccup. Just one more. For da rose, I mean road. I mean pond. Lagoon. Whatever. C,mon, I get dry on land.”