That’s a cool pair of Purple Slug Earrings. You know what you call a purple slug right? A purple nurple! *Everyone cover your nips as I go on a rampage* Now that I have that out of my very juvenile system… I actually got out the the juvenile system a few years back cuz they couldn’t try me as an adult. I’m a free man now. I was known as the Purple Nurple Burglar. I would break in at night and do the twist, if you know what I mean. Then run. The statute of limitations ran out and the color has returned to all of the boobies that I wronged.
Tag: jewelry
Raven Head Jewelry
This piece of Raven Head Jewelry is pretty cool. Put this on and you’ll get noticed. It’s called a Kopfschmücke and yeah, I know it sounds dirty as a dollar matinee in the red light district, but apparently that just means “headpiece”. I looked it up. You can never go wrong with a bird skull accented with flowers. Unless you’re a florist I guess.
Why isn’t florist spelled floorist? Cuz that’s how it sounds. I used to think a florist was a janitor, mopping floors all day. Stupid language. Kopfschmucke on it!
Sugar Skull Cameo Necklace
This Sugar Skull Cameo Necklace wants to make a cameo appearance around your neck. It has flowers in it’s eyes and looks all badass. Give me some sugar baby. And I’ll give you a skull. What? That’s not how it works? Great, I’ve been doing the whole sugar skull thing wrong. I feel like an idiot. Whatevs. It’s a cool necklace.
Skull Hair Clips
Damn, somebody’s got little skull caves in their hair and those caves have residents! Looks like they just popped out and took a bite of hair. These Skull Hair Clips will make you look cool too. I think they call that style “victory rolls”. Yeah, whenever you trap some skulls in your hair and keep ’em as pets, that’s a victory. Before this I thought victory rolls was that moment when the pillsbury comes out of the oven and you shout, “victory rolls!”
I know a lady who has squirrel bones and a bird skull in her hair, but she lives under an underpass.
Gargoyle Earrings
These Gargoyle Earrings will just sit there, dangling from your ears, like, “Hey, what’s up? Just gonna chill here for awhile and do my stone demon thing. Try not to drip earwax on me k? We’re both deep in thought here.”
Gargoyles are perfect for Gar-girls! Their piercing glare are why your ears are pierced in the first place. You are gonna look stylin’ my little leapshun.