Tag: mutated

Mutant Sea Creature Vase

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Mutant Sea Creature Vase
This Mutant Sea Creature Vase is all kinds of ugly. In a good way. Everything under the sea is ugly. Just a bunch of creatures all swimming under the sea, bumping uglies. If you ever visit an Octopus’ garden and steal some flowers, put them in this vase. If I’m honest, it looks like a big open scab that’s bubbling after you put the hydrogen peroxide on. Except it doesn’t collect all that lint around the edges when you leave it uncovered. You know what I’m talking about.

I wonder if all of the sea creatures will evolve into floating scabs. How would we ever resist picking them? We have over-fished the seas, it’s only natural we over-pick it’s scabs. This has been another addition of Deep thoughts. With me.

Santa Clops Ornament

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Santa Clops Ornament
You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout. I’m telling you why. Santa Clops is coming to town. He’s making a list. And checking it twice. He has to check it twice, he only has one eye. Which explains why my gifts are never under the tree and why I wake up on Christmas morning to find half my sh*t broken. His depth perception sucks. Plus he’s a drunk. Either that or he just likes taking a dump in the fireplace.

If you like your Santa ornaments ugly and mutated, this blown glass ornament from Middle of Beyond is for you.

via The Awesomer

Creepy/Cool: Jurassic Park De-Evolution Bust

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

jurassic park bustNote to scientists: DO NOT create! This is what happens to geneticists who they get too close to dino-DNA. Still, it beats sharing DNA with Jar Jar Binks. What do you mean Jar Jar isn’t real? I hate him don’t I? He must be real. Anything that annoying is definitely real. Right? What do you mean hate leads to the dark side? Whatevs! This conversation is over. Talk to the lightsaber!
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