Tag: nightmare on elm street

Freddy Krueger Crew Neck Sweater

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Freddy Krueger Crew Neck Sweater
Really digging my new Freddy Krueger Crew Neck Sweater. Never heard of Freddy Krueger, but I bet he’s like one of the top designers. Everyone else is digging my threads too. They’re all checking me out. Eyeing me up as I walk down the street. This sweater goes well with my not-trimmed for like 10 years fingers on my right hand that are sharp as knives. The street sign says I’m on Elm. I hope this Craigslist dude has my stuff and doesn’t kill me.

Hmmm. Not sure why the town is now rounding the corner with pitchforks and torches, but… I’m starting to think they don’t like this shirt.

Freddy Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street Coffin Box

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Freddy Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street Coffin Box
This Freddy Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street Coffin Box reminds me of that time I pranked Freddy, putting the glue on the coffin box and waiting for him to put his hand down. Good times. He was so mad, slashing everywhere and cursing. Just smacking stuff instead of slashing it. Dude invaded my dreams for a week, but he couldn’t stay mad at me.

Now Jason Voorhees. That dude can’t take a joke. You paint pink flowers and My Little Ponies on one hockey mask and he’s all like, I’m gonna chop your door down with a machete and hack you to bits. What a nut. Even now a month later, I can see him outside of my window just standing there looking creepy.
Read more “Freddy Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street Coffin Box”

Reborn Freddy Krueger Doll Was A Nightmare On Womb Street

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

reborn freddy krueger doll
This Reborn Freddy Krueger Doll is crazy demented. Well, now that he’s been reborn maybe they can raise him up right this time. Teach him not to slash people and invade their dreams. If it’s true what they say, that children are our future… We are all f***ed!

Being reborn hasn’t improved his skin any. It’s called proactive for a reason Freddy. You gotta be proactive about it. I mean come on Fredster, are you your parents newborn kid or a botched Dominos pizza? What, you gonna come for me now in my sleep? Come at me bro! Come at me! I got a medicine cabinet full of uppers and I ain’t afraid to use them!
Read more “Reborn Freddy Krueger Doll Was A Nightmare On Womb Street”

Horror Movie Jigsaw Puzzles

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

horror jigsaw puzzle
I tried one of these Horror Movie Jigsaw Puzzles, but they scared me so bad I had to go back to those grandma puzzles with the flowers and the fields and stuff. I don’t want to put together a jigsaw with…Jigsaw. “Do you want to play a game?” Well, yeah, but I thought you meant Monopoly or risk. Say, when can I get this bear trap off my head? My jaw is starting to hurt. What do you mean I sound like your last girlfriend? Hey! That’s messed up.

Anyway, you’re just a more modern and twisted Riddler without the green costume. Arrrrrgggghhhh! Why did the chair just shock me? You said you had cake! Where’s my cake? I should have known better than to trust some puppet dude who rides a tricycle!
Read more “Horror Movie Jigsaw Puzzles”

Burned Freddy Krueger Skin Nikes

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

freddy krueger burned skin nike shoes
If Freddy Krueger escapes the dream world and starts chasing you, you can run away in style while wearing these Burned Freddy Krueger Skin Nikes. They feature a cool print of Freddy’s burnt skin, but not the soles of those he tormented. Heh! I made a funny.

Seriously though, these sneakers are pretty awesome. You’re gonna look like you have burnt Freddy feet. Make sure you wear them in your nightmares. Freddy is either gonna love these and have a beer with you or hate them and cut your ankles off to take them from you because they will be just his size. They look like meat, but are for your feet.
Read more “Burned Freddy Krueger Skin Nikes”