Tag: nightmare on elm street

Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Krueger Glove Replica

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Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Krueger Glove Replica
I never sleep these days. Nightmares with Freddy chasing me? Nah. Accidentally been pouring NyQuil on my waffles. Which I eat before bed. I’ll probably be better in a few days. On the plus side, my cough is gone. So, there’s no way I’m scared of this Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Krueger Glove Replica. Pfft, what could he possibly do to me? You gotta get me tired to catch me Freddy. Oh sh*t. I just realized it was the drowsy formula. Oh well. Be seeing you soon Fredster and we will do battle again.

This replica is screen accurate from the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, with a distressed leather-like glove, with real metal attachments. It even includes a mannequin hand to display it when you aren’t wearing it so you can chop meat and cut hair and stuff. Pretty cool. feeling a little drowsy now. Probably not a great item to feature before falling asleep and being at Freddy’s mercy. Gonna be a long night.

Nightmare On Elm Street Freddy Krueger Holiday Horror Wreath

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Nightmare On Elm Street Freddy Krueger Holiday Horror Wreath
This Nightmare On Elm Street Freddy Krueger Holiday Horror Wreath reminded me that I had a dream about Freddy last night. He was showing me his phone and he’s all like, “Dude, friend me on Facebook.” I was like, “Okay.” Then I had to watch him swipe his phone with his claws and slash my Facebook face for like a million times. It was horrible. I was his only Facebook friend too. Okay, I admit it, he was my only FB friend.

Anyway, this wreath lets you know you have arrived on Elm Street. It’s not so travelers have a fresh set of clothes and can instantly become a supernatural murderer with poor fashion sense.

Freddy Krueger Burnt Skin Christmas Tree Ornament

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Freddy Krueger Burnt Skin Christmas Tree Ornament
Deck the halls with Freddy Krueger’s burnt flesh. You can almost smell the evil bubbling. This Freddy Krueger Burnt Skin Christmas Tree Ornament is pretty awesome. If you could get a whole bunch, it’ll make it look like Freddy exploded and there’s bits of him stuck in your tree. Eww! Yet cool. But I’m freaky like that. Here are some matching fleshy Nikes.

Jingle Bells
Burnt flesh smells
Freddy laid an egg.

My little song gets worse, but that’s all I’m sharing cuz I would like to sleep tonight. I don’t want to tick him off.

Nightmare Dog From Nightmare on Elm Street 2

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WTF
Damn. I guess Alpo ain’t working out for this pooch. And neither is Rogaine. When I first got a glimpse of this I said to myself, “Self, this is either a freaky acne-riddled business man in a dog suit doing some weird bondage thing or a man-dog representation of the herp come to warn us about unprotected sex.” I’m still not sure which is right, so I’m just taking their word for it, that this is Nightmare Dog From Nightmare on Elm Street 2. Seems legit.

It looks like J. Edgar Hoover meets Baron Vladimir Harkonnen from Dune.
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Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Krueger Animated Chest of Souls Sweater

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Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Krueger Animated Chest of Souls Sweater
You have no idea what it is like to be tormented by a thousand souls all writhing around in your chest, but I do. Happens to me every taco night. Which was last night. After this post, I’m off to the drug store to buy whatever cream has a firefighters logo on it, cuz I’m calling in a 4 alarm fire at the corner of Owmyanus and Main. Downstairs.

In order for the rest of you mere mortals to experience this(Minus the cramping, sweating, bloating and cursing.) you’ll need this Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Krueger Animated Chest of Souls Sweater. *Points to the writhing faces on my stomach.* That one’s the one I had first. See how it’s almost absorbed into my skin. That one’s the one I dropped on the floor and ate anyway. Hey you guys stop fighting. You’re gonna make me puke here. I didn’t eat all of you just to puke you u- Oh man! Here it comes!

*Wipes face, breathing heavy.* That tasted better going down.
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