That Exists – Weird Catnip Cat Toy Fetus

Cat Toy Fetus
Yep, that exists. A Cat Toy Fetus. Great precedent to set. Now cats are going to want to play with fetuses all the time. They’ll be attacking pregnant women just to get at the cat toy they are carrying inside. Great idea. They are gonna give upon mice in favor of their new favorite toy. The fetus. Meh. Whatevs. I guess. At this point I just have a de-fetus attitude.

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Cool Bigfoot Lunchbox – You Will Believe

Bigfoot Lunchbox
Pack a lunch in this Bigfoot Lunchbox. I’m gonna pack a honking huge Sasquatch sammich. Along with some Yeti Yogurt. You can take this hiking in the forest too, so that when Bigfoot attacks you while eating, he can know how famous he is. It will probably make him smile. Then he’ll go back to killing you and then sit and enjoy your lunch. Then take this lunchbox home to his kid.

Alien Belt Buckle – I Want To Believe My Pants Will Stay Up

Alien Belt Buckle - I Want To Believe
There’s nothing like an Alien Belt Buckle to get aliens hovering over your junk all day long. That way they can monitor your pee schedule and know whenever you pull your peen out and do whatever other sick experiments they do. Go ahead,collect your sick data, I don’t care. Imma be rocking a sweet belt buckle with your shiny heads all over it. This Chupacabra Belt Buckle is also a good choice.

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Scary Swimwear – The Klownkini Bikini

Scary Swimwear - The Klownkini Bikini
Not sure is terrifying or super sexy. I’ll get back to you on that. The Klownkini Bikini has clown stuff in all of the right places. Sadly. It’s blocking my view. Okay, enough clowning around. Those clown teeth are gonna do some serious damage to that girls mid-section though. Well, that’s life in the circus for you. If I see this at the beach, I’m running. Wear these heels with it.

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Scented Loch Ness Monster Ornaments

Scented Loch Ness Monster Ornaments
I know what you’re thinking. That Scented Loch Ness Monster Ornaments surely smell like seaweed and monster pee. Nope. These ornaments are lavender scented. Hang them anywhere you want. On your Christmas tree, your rear view mirror, wherever. I have mine above the Captain’s wheel on my boat. Sometimes I reach up and sniff it like a bloodhound, so I know if I’m getting close to Nessie or not. It doesn’t help, but I feel a little high. Then I forget what I was doing and spin donuts on the water until the coastguard comes. So that was my weekend.