Etsy’s very own PaytonPringleArt (I had no idea that Pringles were a medium outside of staining my fingers and shirt. And decorating my couch with crumbs.) makes Religious Alien Art that I’m pretty sure is illuminati and scientology sanctioned. It makes me question everything. Questions like: What the f**k does it mean? Are you saying that aliens are religion? Or that religion is a sham? And why am I still looking at this, when I need to feed my face? And what am I going to eat? So many questions. But the truth is out there. Soon it will be in my tummy.
Read more “Immaculate Deception – Religious Alien Art”
Tag: novelty
Alien Money Clip
This Alien Money Clip is all about the Benjamins son. Or in my case Washingtons. I lied. It’s currently holding bills of the Chuck E Cheese and Monopoly variety. Forget your cash register and put that in your sass register. Keep the change! It’s all good though. This clip gets me a free stay at the Ale-E-Inn. Haha. Little play on words there. Yes, my jokes are so bad I have to explain them. Whatevs. Dollar dollar bills y’all! No, really, can I pay by check cuz all I have is like two dollar bills? That’s all I have on me, plus an Amazon dash button for Snickers bars for some reason.
Sasquatch Metal Bottle Opener – I Want To Believe
Sasquatch, Yeti, Bigfoot, Yowie, Skunk Ape, Turd Burglar… Whatever you call him, the elusive hairy mofo is the stuff of legend. And guess what? Legends get bottle openers in their likeness. Like this Sasquatch Metal Bottle Opener. Just put your cap in Bigfoot’s chest and pop that top. Then report the incident and no one will believe you. Because that’s what Bigfoot does. He makes you look like an A-Hole. Thanks a lot you hairy, smelly freak.
Creepy Crawly Bug Teapot For Tea Time Terror
Do you want one lump or two? Well, I don’t care how many as long it doesn’t have a hundred legs. This Creepy Crawly Bug Teapot is just filled with bugs on the outside and I’m pretty sure it is filled with bugs inside too, cuz that black bug-juice is just overflowing from the lid and oozing everywhere. Which kind of bugs me. Get it? Bugs me? How many bugs does it take to get that much “tea” anyway? I have no idea. I don’t want to know. I’m surprised there’s no tea-rantula. This is more of a beetle blend.
Sperm Earring Is A Thing That Actually Exists
Hey lady, you got some on your ear- Oh nevermind. I can’t tell if that Sperm Earring is wiggling around or not, but if it is, I hope it acts as a smart Q-Tip and at least gently swabs her ear canal. It is sperm though, so I guess it would be more like a wet willy and less like a Q-Tip. Really, a napkin could have avoided this whole look. It goes well with the sperm Christmas Ornament.