Alien In Bigfoot Costume Metal Wall Art

Alien In Bigfoot Costume Metal Wall Art
This Alien In Bigfoot Costume Metal Wall Art should really come with a spoiler alert, even though I think we all knew this already. Aliens are Bigfoot. There, I said it. This piece of art proves it. See, this way they get to not only scare people in the woods, but then they can jump out of their Bigfoot suit and go rape bums in their fancy UFOs. Life is weird like that.

Call the Mothman Ouija Spirit Board – Call Him Now

Call the Mothman Ouija Spirit Board
When there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? MOTHMAN! This Call the Mothman Ouija Spirit Board is like a phone that can call Mothman at any time. Call anytime you want, any time of day. He will pick up. Whether you just want to trade recipes, talk gossip about your friends at work, or share beauty tips. Mothman is there baby! Your spirit communication BFF.

Hey Moth.
Hey girl!
How you doin’ boo?
I aight!

Fishermen Find Dead Werewolf In River

Fishermen Find Dead Werewolf In River
The story goes that two fishermen were out fishing when they discovered a werewolf corpse, lying in the shallow water. Here’s what I think happened:

I think there were 3 fishermen. One went to the edge of the woods to take a dump cuz that’s what you do, and you stay on the edge of the woods cuz the woods is scary. So he dropped his pants and so he wouldn’t get killed by a strange beast, took a dump facing the forest. One of the other 2 fishermen, unbeknownst to all, was a werewolf. This guy happened to look over at his friend who was making like a hershey factory, saw his full moon and transformed into a werewolf. A werewolf who was so distraught at seeing such a hairy ass in such an act, committed suicide right there by drowning.

Now isn’t that far more likely?

via Freaklore

A Globetrotter’s Guide to Bigfoot T-Shirt

A Globetrotter's Guide to Bigfoot T-Shirt
This A Globetrotter’s Guide to Bigfoot T-Shirt is a handy shirt for the traveller. It lets you know what to call Bigfoot in different areas of the world, as well as how they differ in appearance. So if you run into one, you can quickly identify it. I usually just identify it as “Holy s**t! Did you see that huge motherf**ker?”

Not as classy as this Bigfoot Shirt, but still.

UFO Abduction Earring

UFO Abduction Earring
Now you can identify yourself as someone who goes for long space rides against your will with this UFO Abduction Earring. That way if you and someone else are wearing one and happen to meet, you can pass each other in the mall and give each other a knowing look, as each of you touches your sore butts and wince before going on your merry way. And maybe you don’t feel so alone. Wear with this T-Shirt.