Need a hand? A skeleton hand? How about a dozen skeleton hands? These Skeleton Party Hand Glasses are to die for. Perfect for haunted house parties and ghoulish get-togethers. Raise a toast. To skeleton hands raising a toast. I gotta hand it to them, these are some great glasses. Very handy in the kitchen. Now if only I could get some skeleton hands to wash them afterwards. Am I right? Say, why do they call it raising a toast when toast isn’t involved? We should probably be slapping pieces of toast together, which is very unsanitary.
Tag: scary
Ouija Board Cup and Saucer Candle
Do you want one sugar or two in your tea? Oh forget it, this is a Ouija Board Cup and Saucer Candle. There’s nothing but wax inside. Oh well. As my former karate instructor Mr. Miyagi used to say, “wax on, wax off”. Admittedly, I only ever mastered the second part, which is why only one of my arms is ripped. Anywho, this Ouija Board combo will light up your room nicely AND let you commute with the dead. I mean commune. As in talk to them. Not travel to work them every morning. Although have you seen some of these people? Damn, talk about working stiffs. They are the walking dead.
Freddy Krueger and Jason BFF Friendship Necklace
I’m a Freddy, but my BFF is more of a Jason. So this Freddy Krueger and Jason BFF Friendship Necklace is perfect for us. We’re always fighting. I’m invading his dreams, he’s slashing at me. We often end up dead piled on top of each other. One time I woke up with an Oscar Mayer hot dog sticking out of my wound instead of a knife. That trickster. What a scamp! That’s friendship for you.
Werewolf 3D LED Lamp Has Big Teeth
You don’t have to wait for a full moon to see a werewolf anymore. You can have one that looks like a hologram thanks to this sweet Werewolf 3D LED Lamp. Perfect for the home or office that is lacking in scary werewolf jaws and teeth. Sadly, that is most homes and offices in the world. You can change the color or even have it cycle through different colors. This thing looks vicious.
Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted
This is a cell phone video from China that supposedly shows a mysterious creature briefly emerging from a lake while a bunch of onlookers panic and make noise. The footage was filmed at a lake in China’s Louping County, and shows a dark object causing ripples on the surface of the water. Then another part of the creature suddenly pops up out of the lake and witnesses can be heard gasping and shouting some more.
Let’s see, we have bubbling and ripples on the water. My research suggests that this is yet another case of the “Nessie farting” phenomenon. No wonder the witnesses are freaking out. Nessie farts reak. Nessie rips some farts and the bubbles rise, rippling the water when they hit the surface. Sometimes you lose control and poop hits the surface. Don’t believe me? Get in the bathtub and let one rip. I just tested my theory a minute ago. In fact I’m still in the tub. Just did it again. Hang on, gotta plug my laptop in again. Rips a huge one. Hey, look at me, I’m Nessie.
*Creates a wave that hits my laptop and electrocutes me for like ten minutes. We’ll talk later when I get out of my coma.*
Read more “Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted”