Hey, look at those shoes. No wonder you’re so stupid. You’ve been standing on your brains all day. *Chuckles to myself loudly* Brains Platform Shoes deliver a roundhouse kick to my head. I fall on the floor.
*Woman stands over me. Hands on hips* Actually, they are decorated with the brains of those who have wronged me. All men, which is why it took so long to cover them.
You women and your shoes. You have to have a show for every occasion. Dinner, parties, the beach, channeling the dead. Why is it not spelled Wee-ja? Stupid English language. Whatevs! These Ouija Board Heels from MissFiendishApparel are pretty neat.
Pardon me Miss, I couldn’t help but notice your amazing Ouija shoes. I’m pretty good at communicating with the departed. Mind if I have a go? Thank you. *Bends down on one knee. Takes a ring off my finger and uses it as a planchette. It slowly moves across the shoe* Mmmm, this is interesting.
What does it say?
It says congratulations, someone is looking up your dress!
Read more “Ouija Board Heels”
Unleash your inner Frankenstein with these freaky and cool Frankenstein Boots. It’s alive! It’s alive! Yeah, but does it have a soul? No, however it does have a sole and some cool bolts on the side. I usually slip mine on, then tighten ’em with a wench.
A wench?
I mean a wrench. Sorry. Was thinking about Frankenstein’s wife for a sec. She forgot to pack me a lunch today and Dr. Frankenstein is very annoyed.
Sadly, these Godzilla High Heels are sold out, but maybe you can score some Godzilla figures and make your own. Then you know what to do. You assemble a miniature city all over the floor of your house, then dance and destroy it, while making monster noises.
Then your friend will come by with some high heels featuring Godzilla’s enemies. Now it’s time to fight and destroy the hell out of what’s left of that city. While I take pictures and pull a lever that dumps jello everywhere. Don’t be afraid to rip each other’s clothes. Everything is fair game when you are fighting in monster heels.
Check out an unboxing video below from the always entertaining grav3yardgirl.
Thanks Erin.
Update: They are in stock at Modcloth.
Read more “Godzilla High Heels”
If Freddy Krueger escapes the dream world and starts chasing you, you can run away in style while wearing these Burned Freddy Krueger Skin Nikes. They feature a cool print of Freddy’s burnt skin, but not the soles of those he tormented. Heh! I made a funny.
Seriously though, these sneakers are pretty awesome. You’re gonna look like you have burnt Freddy feet. Make sure you wear them in your nightmares. Freddy is either gonna love these and have a beer with you or hate them and cut your ankles off to take them from you because they will be just his size. They look like meat, but are for your feet.
Read more “Burned Freddy Krueger Skin Nikes”