Keep your toe tentacles warm and cozy with these H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu Socks. They are frightfully fashionable and creepily couture. You’re walking with an elder god now. How does that feel? Surprisingly soft? I thought so. My feet are also hearing the call of Cthulhu, so maybe I’ll give them a try. Just call me H.P. Love-Comfort. I also go by H.P. Love-Pizza and H.P. Love French Fries.
Tag: socks
Women’s Meat Printed Socks
These Women’s Meat Printed Socks let you put some tenderloin on your tootsies. Some pork on your little piggies. Some bacon on your bunyons. You get the point. What could be better than meat on your feet? Not a damn thing. And now that they make socks that look like meat, I will no longer have to slip my feet into those choice cuts from the meat department. Hey, it gets cold during the winter. My floors are a bacterial nightmare. Look at how nicely marbled these are. You tenderize ’em in the washer and dryer.
Meat. It’s what’s for dinner. Also, it’s what’s for laundry. I’m gonna wear these to my local meat-up. It’s pork week. Like shark week only we’re the predators.
Donut Worry Socks
These Donut Worry Socks say Donut Worry, Eat Happy. Doughnuts are an amazing food. A super food. Doughnuts are also what you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over. You think he giggles now. Try poking him in his warm and flaky bits.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut make me down a whole box, cuz I will! I have the socks to prove it.
Peanut Butter And Jelly Socks
Peanut Butter And Jelly Socks. My motto is, “Comfort food makes comfortable clothing”. That’s probably why I just found a spare hot dog in my shirt pocket. *Yeah, whatever. Is that cake in your underpants?* No, but it is homemade.
Anyway, guess what time it is? It’s Peanut Butter Jelly time. *Dances around in my PB and J socks. Stopping to grab a knife so I can spread some peanut butter and jelly on the appropriate socks, then gets back to dancing, crushing slices of bread everywhere and making like a hundred sandwiches all mashed up together.*
*Breathing hard. Leaning against the wall.* Peanut…butter…Jelly…tired now. *Falls on sticky white bread dance floor*
Dirty And Clean Socks: Know Which Is Which
Thank God for these Dirty And Clean Socks. It’s hard to know which socks are clean when you keep them all in 5 foot tall pile in the corner of the room. What can I say, my nesting instinct is strong and it’s been a cold winter. My mom came in and tried to wash them once and I hissed and shrieked until she went away, then dove in and watched from inside. That mound of smelly cotton is my precious.
I’ll still throw them in the corner until I fulfill my dream of an entire room full of cotton socks with my naked body in the center, but at least I will know what’s dirty and what’s clean. Until they are all inevitably dirty.