Open up and say ahhh you ugly MFer! Just gonna put my spoon down here. Gonna press it against your tongue all doctor like and check for ugly. Yeah you’re ugly alright. I don’t have a prescription for that, but I can give you some morphine so you forget and remove all of the mirrors in your house. These Gross Monster Spoon Rests are gross and grody and gag me with a spoony.
These Skeleton Door Handles are awesome. Just grab some spine and come on in. It’s perfect for a chiropractors office. If you want customers to turn away the minute they get to the door that is. It must have been back-breaking work to create these. If I pull too hard on these, I’m not responsible for any slipped discs right? If I break these spines while opening the door, am I gonna be charged for breaking (spines) and entering? Okay, cool. I’m coming in.
Garbage Pail Saints. They’re holier than Garbage pail Kids and all religious-y. Garbage Pail Saints! The Pope probably collects them and puts them in sleeves in his palace while a servant is trimming his holiness’ toenails with his teeth and swallowing every one. The Catholic church is whack yo. You can get a whole pack of these cards. I’m gonna collect the hell out of these. And by the way people, stop tossing your kids and saints in the garbage. I mean, it makes for fun cards and all, but seriously.
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Normally you don’t wanna rest your head in a graveyard until you bite the big one, until you lay down for the big sleep, bite the bullet, buy the farm, kick the bucket, bite the dust, give up the ghost, shuffle off this mortal coil… But in this case it’s alright. You’re just visiting. And when you raise your head off of this Graveyard Halloween Pillow after a long nap, you can look back at it and laugh at death. Ha ha! Until next time sucker.
Isn’t the human language awesome? It’s called a graveyard, cuz it is a yard full of graves. But if I put graves in my yard, everybody throws a fit! Waaaa. That guy is creepy, that guy is sick. He’s evil! Where’d he get the bodies? It’s a health hazard! Stupid neighborhood laws. They’re just tombstones people! They just happen to have the names of my enemies. Oh you’re on my list now. All of you. My graveyard just grew by like 30 names. You want some of this? Let’s go! RIP in my yard. I mean RI PEE, cuz I pee in my yard sucka! So there. How do ya like that? Bring it!
Frightprops makes Talking Zombie Skull Skins that attach to their talking skulls and transform them into the stuff of nightmares. Check out the video below to see it in action as it talks in a weird accent. Just slip the skin over the skull and you are good to go for scaring the bejesus out of people. Slip me some skin bro! Was that inappropriate and mean to zombies? I have no idea. Fine, don’t slip me some skin. See if I care.
Go ahead and check out the video. Then go ahead and buy one to create zombie life and feel like a God!
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