Become A Needle Felted Zombie

Become A Needle Felted Zombie
Hey guys, let’s all become Needle Felted Zombies. You get the yarn, I’ll poke you with needles. Etsy seller DarlinGirlCreations will create a zombie in your likeness. Not mine. That one on the right looks about right for me, except I’m usually passed out on a chair with Cheeto drool dripping from my mouth. Otherwise it’s uncanny. Like an X-Man. I’m Drool-verine. *Snnnkkkk! Extends my metal claws and starts needle felting zombies like Edward Scissorhands after happy hour.*

Looks at my masterpieces. Ohhhhhhh. Needle felted right? For some reason I heard “Beetle Felted Zombies”. Now what am I gonna do with 4 felted beetle zombies? Hmmmm. I know. Felt undead Beatles tribute band!

Zombie Tarot Cards

Zombie Tarot Cards
Look at the Zombie Tarot Cards. What do you see in my future? Is it bad? Is it the death card? Worse? Ohhhh the undead card. That sounds worse somehow. I’m just gonna shoot myself now, cuz all that walking around that zombies do looks wayyyy too tiring.

The upside is, if the zombies rise up, we can all attach our fitbits to their rotting wrists and brag about all the miles we’ve walked. People would be all like, “Then why are you still so fat?” Two words. Thyroid condition. Yeah, so back off.
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Zombie Mickey Mouse Skull

zombie mickey mouse skull
Whoa. Looks like Mickey found himself under an atomic bomb. This Zombie Mickey Mouse Skull looks like something the natives would shake at you upon entering Disneyland after the apocalypse. Which would fittingly be referred to as the crappiest place on Earth.

Mickey Mouse? More like Icky Mouse! Or moldy mouse. Here I come to save the dayyyyyy! Wait, wrong mouse. He even has fangs now. Maybe this is what happens when Disney puts all of it’s money into Star Wars.

Zombie M & M’s And Zombie Good & Plenty T-Shirts

zombie candy t shirt
Your favorite Halloween candies are now Zombies thanks to Etsy seller wardrobetheglobe. FYI: I tried wardrobing the globe once, but I kept having to undo that Hawaiian shirt anytime I wanted to see learn about the world.

We have zombie M & M’s (The peanut variety) and zombie Good and Plenty. This candy bites back! I always wanted to dress up as undead candy. Heh. Undead Candy. Sounds like a stripper putting on a Halloween show, but that may just be my meds kicking in.
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Undead Graveyard Zombie Toilet Paper Holder

Undead Graveyard Zombie Toilet Paper Holder
*Looks at the Undead Graveyard Zombie Toilet Paper Holder. Too lazy to reach.* Yo Undead Ed over there! Close your rotten mouth and quit gawking at me. Hand my some crack-paper. I need like 10 sheets. This is the kind of paperwork that keeps me working after hours and I ain’t gettin’ no time and a half. That thing was like a loaf and a half cuz I baked it all day and just now pinched it off. Whew! I really need a fan in here.

No? You’re just gonna stare. Fine, I’ll get it myself.
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