Tag: undead

Undead Tooth Plush

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Undead Tooth Plush
There’s nothing worse than an undead tooth creeping around your house, probably pissed off because you used some string attached to a door handle to yank it out. Now it just floats around in ghost form and torments you.

Makes my mouth hurt just looking at this bloody disgusting thing. I’d tell it to go toward the light, but it already did that when it left my head. Where’d you go Tooth? I got a water pistol full of listerine. If I can’t get a dentist to exercise you, I’m gonna at least get all the funk off ya!

Zombie Head Magnets

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Zombie Head Magnets
Are all Zombie Head Magnets present and accounted for? Let’s take a head count? Who’s the head zombie here? Oh, you’re all heads. Nevermind then. Carry on. I’m gonna head out now. No offense. You all are welcomed for the heads up.

Put these magnets on your fridge and scare people so they don’t steal your food. Your fridge will look good, but don’t let it go to your head. Ha! I got one last head joke in. You needed another like you need a hole in the head, but still.
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Zombie Apocalypse Partners Key Chains

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zombie apocalypse partners
These Zombie Apocalypse Partners Key Chains are a must have when the undead are shambling around, with bits of skin flaking off and on a quest for brains. You’re my partner right? You mean so much to me. You’re my bestest bestie. Here, take this. It’s dangerous to go alone.

*Two weeks later after we’ve been separated.* Take that zombie. *Knife to the undead head.* Don’t ever try to hug me you undead sack of- What the-

*Looks at keychain sticking out of it’s pocket. A tear gently streams down my face*

Leather Zombie Backpack

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Leather Zombie Backpack
If you plan to go wandering the wasteland of the zombie apocalypse, you are going to want a backpack that says, “This is what happened to the last zombie bastich that messed with me. Come at me undead bro! Bring it!”

This zombie backpack has your back and he’s conveniently faced away so he won’t bite you. That doesn’t mean you can tease him and put stuff near his mouth and watch him snap though. Don’t be cruel! You can store all of your apocalypse accessories inside of him. Pretty sweet.
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Zombie Hand Drain Stopper

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zombie bathtub stopper
This Zombie Hand Drain Stopper is perfect if you like your bath water red. Which I do. Hey, nothing gives you soft skin and a warm glow like soaking in a bath of Hi-C fruit punch and Cherry Kool-Aid. Diabetes. You’re soaking in it.

You think this hand will massage my feet and tickle me while I ladle sugar drinks all over myself? Nevermind. Just saw those fingernails. Looks like we have some fungus among us. I know you’re already dead and all, so would it kill you to get a manicure? No. No it wouldn’t.