The Octopus Toilet Paper Holder is like having extra tentacles for your TP. The only problem is that this guy won’t ever stop staring at you while you are taking an octo-dump. That’s an 8 minute dump for those who don’t know. Could also be used for a massive dump of 8 curvy logs that look like floating tentacles. Not that I would know. I don’t look at my poop after it leaves me. I’m not one for long and drawn out goodbyes.
Tag: tp
I Love The Poop Out Of You Toilet Paper
I love you guys. And to show you, here’s some I Love The Poop Out Of You Toilet Paper. I really do you know. Glad to help you evacuate your colon. This is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for anyone, because we all have to poop. I know that I want others to think about me every time they wipe.
It’s functional. It’s thoughtful. It gets your butt clean. Give them chocolates to make them poop and then give them the gift of wiping. Like my dad used to say to my mom, “Here’s something for your mouth and something for your butt. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
See How You Measure Up With Measuring Tape Toilet Paper
Measuring Tape Toilet Paper is a great way to gauge how well your pooper is workin’. Are you wiping a two inch streak or a ten inch streak. Find out with this handy dandy toilet paper. It’s great for boredom while pooping too. You can measure body parts, the nearby window, your schmeckel, whatever. Then when you are all pooped out, wipe yourself and measure your skid mark if you want. I ain’t gonna stop ya.
It’s easy to get a long skid mark if your colon can’t put on the brakes and pinch that loaf clean. Yay! I win! Anyway you’re supposed to measure twice and poop once. Thrice on taco night.
Undead Graveyard Zombie Toilet Paper Holder
*Looks at the Undead Graveyard Zombie Toilet Paper Holder. Too lazy to reach.* Yo Undead Ed over there! Close your rotten mouth and quit gawking at me. Hand my some crack-paper. I need like 10 sheets. This is the kind of paperwork that keeps me working after hours and I ain’t gettin’ no time and a half. That thing was like a loaf and a half cuz I baked it all day and just now pinched it off. Whew! I really need a fan in here.
No? You’re just gonna stare. Fine, I’ll get it myself.
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Special Occasion Diarrhea Toilet Paper
This Diarrhea Toilet Paper reminds me that the only dance I can do is the cha cha. As in Diarrhea cha cha cha. It has funny diarrhea phrases all over. Which beats having actual diarrhea all over it. I just like typing diarrhea. Cha cha cha.
Use it for those special occasions. Like when you actually have diarrhea. Might cheer you up.