I’m giving this Gothic Raven Necklace to someone, but not because I like them. It’s cuz I want to give them the bird and also cuz I lost my bird-giving fingers in an accident. The accident was letting that guy see me flipping him the bird. So he made sure my birds never took flight again by bending them back. My birds are in casts. Oh, they’ll fly again. And when they do it is going to be majestic.
Tag: unique
Zombie Cameo Barrette – The Accessorizing Dead
The Zombie Cameo Barrette is a stylish undead corpse for your hair. He doesn’t look happy about it either. I was wondering earlier if zombies went number 2. Aka took a crap. Then I realized that this is all they do. They crap their pants, they crap their skin off, sometimes their jaw takes a crap and falls right off. So zombies are the crappiest. They are basically nature’s ex-lax. This barrette is going to look great in your hair girls. No, I don’t mean that someone ex-laxed all over your hair. I’m just not good with words. That’s why I said crap like ten times here. I’m crap with words.
Horror B Movie Wine Charms
These Horror B Movie Wine Charms will let you know whose drink is whose. Or is it who’s drink is who’s? Stupid english language. Hey, you’re drinking my drink. Mine was The Blob! Oh, sorry. That explains why it’s filled with Jello. Yeah. Don’t even go near The Attack Of The Giant Leeches drink. That’s just nasty.
Never let them put their lips on your drink again. Germs are the true horror movie. Min your drink, otherwise you will be starring in Attack of the Burning Herpes.
Life Size Articulated FaceHugger
Holy crap guys! This Life Size Articulated FaceHugger could be in my yard. No, I mean it might be in my yard right now cuz something has been digging those giant holes. It’s too big to be a gopher. Man, something just scurried by the window and ran up the side of the house. BRB.
*Runs around the backyard hammering pictures of my face attached to wooden stakes in the ground. Watches as the Facehugger takes the bait and tries to hug all of those faces. Cocks my shotgun one-handed like and blows him to hell.*
I got too much face for your race sucker!
Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces
These Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces are caw-ing your name ladies. See what I did there. That’s just some wordplay to get things started, cuz I know how you like it. I’m not some savage who just whips out his bird (necklace) first thing. But forget all that. Throw caw-tion to the wind and accessorize with these awesome skulls, with sapphire, ruby, topaz, amethyst and peridot stones. Caws you deserve it. I promise you won’t cry fowl. The price? A poultry sum. I’m not gonna crow about it anymore. Even though they are worth raven about.