Oh hell no! No matter how cute you try to look, you are still a Tarantula Girl Doll. I’m trying to say, in the nicest way possible, that your face makes me scream. Check out the second pic of her on a date with Mr. Tarantula if you want an extra creepy-crawly feeling. This makes me so glad that tarantulas are not in humanoid girl form. It’s actually more for display. In a house of horrors!
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Tag: girl
Embryo Pendants In Santa Hats
What’s up hombres? I mean Embres. Em-bre-os. Bryos before hos right? I’m just messin’ with you guys. Looking good. Forming up nice. Got your little Santa hats on. All cuddled up with each other on your little bed. You look hungry. What are you trying to say? Ohhh, I get it. “Feed us.” Hey, that’s a terrible joke for a fetus to make.
These Embryo Pendants In Santa Hats are just plain freaky. What kind of fetuses spoon each other in bed while wearing Santa hats? They will assault my nightmares tonight and I look forward to doing battle. I hope they find me a worthy adversary as my sword delivers the finishing death blow.
Cleetus was a fetus
and he liked to act elitist.
The womb he did pester
until the third trimester.
And now he’s a loud-ass baby crying all night. Make it stop. Make it stop. Please make it stop!
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Frankenstein Spider Doll With Victims
What has 6 eyes, 6 arms and two legs, a bunch of stitches and dinner twitching all around it? The Frankenstein Spider Doll. I don’t know if she’s poisonous or not, but she has style.
Guys, I don’t want to scare you but I think I might have the whole Spider-Man thing going on. I was bit by a spider one time and I spent the whole day spinning web out of my butt and bouncing up and down on one strand.
“That was the day you were Peter Pan in the school play. You also had tacos! That janitor was 2 days away from retirement.”
Okay, how do you explain that I would grab a hunk of meat out of the fridge, use both hands to spin a saran wrap cocoon around it and then suck the blood dry?
“That was your ‘I’m afraid to touch meat’ phase, which coincided with your ‘I’m afraid to chew meat’ phase. Basically you are a neurotic and hypochondriac idiot!”
I don’t know what that means, but fine. You still can’t explain why my spider abdomen got so huge overnight.
“Because your spider abdomen is full of half priced booze and stuffed crust pizza. And by overnight, you must mean every night.”
How do you explain my presence on the world wide web then. Hah! I win!
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Eww La La: Pinup Goblins
Hey Baby. You are looking cute as dungeon loot. What do you say we blow this dungeon and level up together? I would totally hit that. And my nerd D and D character has a ton of hit points, so I would hit it again and again. Hairy and scary, just the way I like ’em.
Etsy seller FiendishThingies has a ton of cool sculptures, but these Pinup goblins for $350. take the cake…And rub it all over themselves, with smokey eyes, while blowing you a kiss and doing a little dance. Damn girl. You got claws that catch.
Check out another hottie after the break.
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Old Polaroid Picture Of A Clown With Little Girl
This creepy Polaroid of a Clown and girl sold for on Ebay for $6.98. I assume he was holding her for ransom and sent this pic to her parents. Cause that’s what clowns do. They give you nightmares and clown phobias and generally just make the world a creepier place.
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