Zombie undead uprising. Read all about it. This is going to be every newspaper when the apocalypse hits. And the only people left to read it are going to be undead dirtbags. Meaning politicians, cuz they have all the bunkers. And I’ll still skip to the comics. Actually this is Zombie Newspaper Fabric so you can re-fabric all of the stuff that got blood on it from when you killed that zombie in your living room. You know what I’m talking about.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Chupacabra Belt Buckle
Keep your pants up with this cool Chupacabra Belt Buckle. But does this mean that if my belt buckle spots a goat, it’s gonna jump off my business and go suck it’s blood, so that my pants fall down? That’s the question. Also this belt buckle kinda makes it look like that dirty goat sucker is snacking on my party log. Oh wait. I see the goat now. Wait… Is he snacking on that thing or are they making love? This belt buckle is confusing.
Skeleton Ceiling Fan with Skulls and Arms Sticking Out
Man, it’s getting hot in here. I’d better turn on my Skeleton Ceiling Fan with Skulls and Arms Sticking Out. SLAP SLAP SLAP. I never get out of the way in time. There’s nothing like getting slapped silly by a bunch of skeleton hands. Plus, it makes you forget about the heat. This thing looks like a nightmare spaceship that’s gonna spin it’s skeleton arms and take off into the night. Then come back down and wrap them around you. Carry you up into space and do some nightmare stuff with your naughty bits while you dangle in it’s embrace.
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Mythical Creatures and Cryptid Skeleton Throw Blanket
If you love mythic creatures, you probably want to drape them over you at night and get warm and cozy. Sure that sounds wrong, but people just don’t understand. Well, this Mythical Creatures and Cryptid Skeleton Throw Blanket will cover you in crazy cryptids. Ohhhhh classy! So classy that it makes your weird interest in cryptids almost acceptable. Or so I’m hoping.
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Pin up Zombie Handbag
You want some sexy zombies? Of course you do. I got some sexy zombies for you. This Pin up Zombie Handbag is full of them. You got your sexy cowgirl zombie, what looks like a sexy prom queen zombie, a movie star and more. These are some zexy zexy zombies. You can carry all of your stuff in this purse in style. You can probably carry at least one zombie head in it. If you’re into that sort of thing.