If you’re looking for a fashion accessory that has ears and eyebrows this Weird Earbrow Capelet is for you. Earbrows are so this season. New from designer Tommy Shillfigure. Or is it Christian Di-ear? I have no idea. I’m not gonna buy. I was just… browsing.
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Category: Craft Fail
Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll
I was just saying the other day that every Brian I meet turns out to be a real turd. I’m sure their not all bad, but man, I’ve met a lot of turds named Brian. Here’s another. Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll. He’s ready to be displayed in your home so he can turd up your place. Hopefully they deliver him on time and he’s not turdy. I mean tardy. I’m not sure what his maker ate, but it looks like he’s got some green shading there. Also very puffy eyes. I guess it’s tiring being a turd. Or maybe he’s just sad he came in turd place in a contest.
Also, how do you get a turd that’s segmented in that way? I’m guessing you push, squeeze and push squeeze. I have no idea. And who would have thought that a turd could have such full lips? It’s from kissin’ butt on the way out. He’s a little brown noser. That’s probably why somebody gave him that shiner on his eye.
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Crazy Cat Lady Gourd
Being a crazy cat lady is one thing, but put some damn clothes on woman! You can’t just cover your naughty bits with cats! Well you can, but then everyone’s gonna confuse your kitties with your T***ies. Are you on some Hawaiian vacation or is this how you always dress at home? Pull yourself together.Are you out of your gourd?
The Toothpaste Purse
This toothpaste purse is way better than the one I made. That will be $8.39 sir. I think I have some change. Here we go. Never mind all of the goo. That’s just Crest, I promise. It will keep your cash register minty fresh. *Puts toothpaste purse back in my pocket. Sees the gooey white mess all over my pants.* That’s not good. This situation has a police car ride all over it. This is why I never DIY, cuz I DIW(Do It Wrong). No, don’t call the manager. I’ll put the condoms back. See, this isn’t weird at all.
Just Your Everyday Illuminati / Black Magic Teddy Bear Lamp
Looky here. An Illuminati Teddy Bear Lamp. Also claims to be black magic. They also had Voodoo in their title. I’m surprised they didn’t mention Santeria. I had that once. I’m pretty sure it means having the runs during Christmas. Seriously though, this thing has some bad juju. I think they confused illuminati with illumination. Obvious mistake. Now ya got some half crazed devil teddy bear with a lamp on his head making you worship some freaky deity every night.
Hey, I don’t judge. You wanna have a scare-bear go for it. You won’t find this thing on my night stand. Don’t mess with the illuminati. Period. End of story, That’s all she wrote. Because a demon bear attacked her. Illuminati. As in Illumi-NOT-I. Ain’t gonna have it.
Click through for an image of a half crazed feline under it’s spell.
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