Category: Craft Fail

Zombie Apocalypse Necklace

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Zombie Apocalypse Necklace
When in the middle of the zombie apocalypse, you gotta look cool. Wear something freaky and intimidating so zombies know you mean business. Like a necklace full of babies. That’s what the Zombie Apocalypse Necklace is. You’re also gonna need a baby on board sign. Cuz you know, you got babies on board.

Hey babies. Get on my neck! That’s right zombies, if I have a neck full of babies, I won’t have a problem chopping your head off. Yeah, that’s what I thought! Keep shuffling, you brain craving freak.

Can be worn as a necklace or as a creepy baby beard.

Duck Tape Scents: Fix Stuff, Make It Smell Good

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duct tape scents
You can fix anything with Duct Tape/Duck Tape and now you can make those things smell pleasant thanks to Duck Tape Scents. At first I thought this was tape that smelled like a duck, but I was just being a silly goose.

You feeling plucky punk? Then grab some Duck Tape Scents and start fixing stuff. Look people, stuff that is fixed in a redneck way isn’t supposed to smell like flowers or candy. It’s supposed to smell like Pabst Blue Ribbon, Chicken wings and shame. Cuz you spilled it on your tape before you used it.

They come in so many scents, it’s really ducked up.

Ugly Christmas Sweater Onesie: The Abominable Snowman

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Ugly Christmas Sweater Onsie
Awesome. I can finally get that Abominable Snowman Christmas Sweater Onesie I’ve always wanted. I mean aside from my birthday suit, which is a mass of furry grey hair. People were always mistaking me for the abominable snowman at that nudist colony I got kicked out of. It didn’t help that I would jump out of the bushes, growl, and steal food. Then the internet arrived and I no longer had to join clubs like that to see nudity. I love you internet. *Hugs my computer and gives it a little kiss.*

Yeah, this thing is white and furry and full of ornaments. Just like my grandma’s head after the Christmas tree fell on her in 2006. Good times. Hey, is that a heart on the crotch that says “Kiss me”? That’s classy as f**k! I see a cookie cutter on the left shoulder too. No, I mean their left. Your right! And when you’re right you’re right. I need to buy this.

Patricia Craftfail

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Patricia Craftfail
Wowzers! I don’t even know what to say. This thing goes by the name Patricia. *Speaks to the 40 year old corpse in the rocking chair.* Do you like my art mother? I made this just for you. It has your name.

Some artists work in clay or paint. This one works in screws, nails and cigarettes to burn things with. On the plus side, it’s apparently poseable, so you can display it in your cabinet of horrors in a variety of poses.

Piddle Pail: It’s a Lunch Box You Pee In

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Piddle Pail: It's a Lunch Box You Pee In
Piddle Pail. It’s exactly what it sounds like. A lunch box that you pee in. Cuz why not? I get that you have to pee and sometimes the rest room is not available. But making the container out of a lunch box? That’s either genius or some insane asylum inspiration right there.

Just pee in the hose and add to your collection. I hope dad grabbed the right lunch box this morning. Uh-Oh!