Etsy seller AdultMascotCostumes has all kinds of cool and freaky costumes, but my favorites are Peter Griffin and Stewie from Family Guy. What, no Meg? Good! Shut up Meg!
Check out Stewie below. He looks absolutely terrifying. Like he just dropped a massive in his diaper and is waiting for Lois to clean it up.
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If the weather is calling for a Goth downpour of epic proportions, this Bone Parasol has you covered. It has a casting of a hawk skull at its tip and a casting of a rabbit skull on the handle. Not enough? There are also eight quail skulls dangling from the spokes.
The woman in these images looks beautiful and dangerous. It’s true. I want to approach her, but I’m too shy. Anyway, that’s beside the point. She’s not exactly dressed for going out in the rain and she’s going to catch her death of cold.
That’s my in. As she stands there shivering in the rain, bones swaying in the wind like a demented set of wind chimes, drippy makeup making her look all extra sad, I’ll drop by like the hero I am and offer her my jacket.*end dream sequence*
Nah. It’s too damn cold for that. She should have spent her money on a nice warm jacket first and THEN saved up for a creeptastic bone parasol. That’s like responsibility 101. Some lessons are best learned hard my dear. Perhaps we will meet again one day. I’ll roll the skull dice.
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Etsy seller twistedsisterarts must have killed a lot of dragons to make these awesome Gothic Eye Jewelry pieces. She has headpieces, pendants, cloak fasteners and more. I wonder where she stashes the corpses.
I bet her jewelry stand transmits to a wall of TVs in dragon heaven, where they watch her through their dead eyes and count the days until they can have sweet revenge. I like the pink eye below the best. Maybe because I’ve had it so many times. Washing your hands is for sissies.
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You’ll need a couple of marines doing that funeral flag folding thing to put these Super Wide Pants in your drawers. Reasons to buy these:
You have a wide load and need wide pants.
You are part of a midget smuggling ring and this will allow you to smuggle a midget on each leg.
Cankles!
Because you don’t trip and fall on your face nearly often enough.
You like to take up the whole aisle at the supermarket.
One washer, one garment. That’s just how you roll.
Sweeeeeet! So let me get this straight. You are going to sell me the Grim Reaper’s robe and with it, all of his powers over life and death? Just checking cuz I’ve been duped before. The last time someone promised me a Grim Reaper robe, it was actually an adolescent size Robin robe from Batman and Robin fame. There I was, fat man-gut hanging out, eye-mask and cape on, standing over some dude’s bed trying to persuade him that, “It is time!” and pointing down the hall.
It was time alright. For him to give me two black eyes and a wedgy, while holding me for the police. Yeah that’s real funny Sargeant handlebar mustache of the local PD. Yes, I reap what I sew. Oh, hilarious Blue Oyster Cult reference. Don’t fear the Reaper! You’re a barrel of laughs. You’ll be the first on my list when I buy this thing.
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