Terrifying Hand-Knitted Clown Balaclava

knitted clown mask
This Terrifying Clown Balaclava is some pretty intense knitting. Yo, quit clowning around and take that thing off. I don’t like the way you’re staring at me. Well, say something! Don’t just stand there staring at me and looking all menacing and stuff. I was having a nice relaxing, clown-free day until all this. Uh. What’s with that knife? I’m assuming you are just playing some real life Fruit Ninja, but since I don’t see any other fruit, this lemon is out of here. If you prefer to put on your clown face by using good old fashioned makeup rather than donning a Clown Balaclava, check out this cool Killer Clown Makeup Brush Holder. Because you shouldn’t clown around with your clown face. You have to take that seriously if you’re in the clown game. Your face is your money shot. wait- I mean… Nevermind.

Click through for a bonus pic in which Stephen King endorses this mask. And finds Waldo! A very cute Waldo. I think she is the knitter. Also, I just learned that knitting is not the act of removing nits from some dirty kid’s hair. Or at least it’s not only that. Who knew? You learn something new every day.
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Drunk Dressing: Beer Bottle Cap Dress

bottlecap dress
Hey baby! You look great in that Bottle Cap Dress. You must have drank a ton of Bud Light and Coors and been tipsy on that sewing machine. So glad we met through that beercrafting dating service. You like my cowboy hat? Nah, we don’t stand out. Do you think we stand out?

I am totally getting some tonight. You know how I know? Psst! *Whispers* I brought a bottle opener.

This beer bottle cap dress is like a suit of drunken armor that you can wear to your next crazy party.

Necronomicon Book of the Dead Necklace

necronomicon book locket
Etsy seller Paintit13lack likes to make mini necronomicon necklaces. Some are even lockets that open up to reveal images from Army of Darkness. You know the old saying: Don’t go to Comic Con without your necronomicon.

The book is said to contain an account of the ancient ones, their history, and the means for summoning them. It’s basically an old fashioned telephone book for monsters. Let your tentacles do the walking! Why the grim face? Well, it is a grimoire. Fun fact: They call it the book of the dead because of poor sales.

Bat Winged Tooled Leather Belt And Boots

bat wing belt
Unleash your inner Batgirl with a bat belt paired with some bat boots. Or your inner Goth girl. Whichever you prefer. I think this might be from the Wednesday Addams collection. Didn’t that go on sale on Thursday? I have no idea. I’ll check with my gal Friday. Anywho, if you want to look badass, you have to wear bats.

Bats are totally in this season. They aren’t just a motif for rich guys who hunt criminals in Gotham by night. Bats are awesome! Bats are insane! Bats are bat-tastic!
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Chained Octopus Necklace

chained octopus necklace
I don’t have to tell you that Octopuses belong in chains. These ink squirting monstrosities are scary as hell. It’s because of these guys and sharks that I don’t get in the water. Ever. Screw you kraken! Still, this Octopus necklace is pretty stylish, even though I wouldn’t trust him around my neck, chained up or no. Octopuses are all grabby and clingy. Kinda like me on a date. They would call me Cthulhu. If they called at all. *sad face*

The seller has all kinds of cool necklaces. Some of them are other dangerous sea creatures too. Like the Zombie Octopus and Jellyfish below. Wear them at your own peril.
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