Category: Creep Wear

Dragon Wings For Adults

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Dragon Wings For AdultsWhoa! Pretty wings! These Dragon Wings For Adults are strong enough for a mannequin, but made for real living humans. They are beautiful and elegant… But enough about my strange fixation with mannequins. These wings are awesome. Imma get me a pair and have adventures and stuff. Only thing is, what is the weight limit on these? These things may or may not get me 6 inches off the ground. See, they call me Puff the Magic Dragon. Not cuz I’m a stoner, cuz I’m puffy and kinda fat. I do live by the sea though and frolic in the autumn mist. In a land called Sarah Lee. Effin’ love that cheesecake.

Just remember folks, dragon wings for adults beats adult diapers with wings. Whatever that means. Obviously I lied. You have to be a stoner to talk this kind of nonsense. Why am I even blogging? I could do this shizz in the street and actually have people throw money in a hat! Well, I’m off to my new gig. Laterz.

Hey, you think Knights gathered round a round table and ate dragon wings the way we eat chicken wings? Think about it. Seriously though, those mannequins right? Am I the only one who finds Dragon Barbie here, sexy? This Barbie looks kinda evil. And medieval. Probably drag me back to her Barbie Malibu Leech house and give me a bloodletting.

BTW is it really a bloodletting if you don’t let them, but they do it anyway?
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Stranger Things Demogorgon Necklace

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Stranger Things Demogorgon Necklace
Relive the thrill and the terror of the Demogorgon with this Stranger Things Demogorgon Necklace. It basically looks like a starfish from Satan’s beach resort. *Shudders* And that’s just the demo-Gorgon! They really cranked it up to Eleven on this one. Get it? I knew you would. That’s why you and me were meant to be together. You get me. You really get me. Now get me a coke and some fries k? Love you too. Kisses.

This Spider Fang Ring Looks Deadly

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This Spider Fang Ring Looks Deadly
I use this Spider Fang Ring like brass knuckles. That bite. Don’t mess with me man, I have a spider bite that will incapacitate you. I’m talking some serious venom. The kind you have to fly to peru to get a antidote for. Okay, the fangs are just coated with windex and pledge cuz that’s how I clean the ring, but I bet it still gives you a nasty infection. Especially with one of these rings on each finger.

*Kisses my ring hands* You want some of this twin army of spider fangs in yo face son? I call this hand the Black Widow and I call this one the widower. The first is gonna put you in the hospital, the second is gonna hit you say hard your wife will feel it- Hey let go. What are you doing? Why are you gripping my spider fang hands so I can’t attack? No! No, of course I don’t like punching myself and no! No, I don’t know why I’m doing it. No, I can’t stop. *Crying* No, I won’t say it! *Sobs* Really, you’ll stop if I say it? Okay, okay! “Fangs for the memories!” *Falls to knees and cries myself to sleep in the fetal position*

Nice Hippocampus – Brain Scan Leggings

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Brain Scan Leggings
If you don’t like these Brain Scan Leggings, you need your brain examined. You at least need a cat scan. Then once we are certain you aren’t a cat, we will examine you more and find out what your malfunction is. These are perfect, cuz if you have nice legs, my brain is always on your thighs anyway. So that’s my brain right there times like 40. It’s okay cuz I’m a neurologist. Cuz I’m neurotic.

Zombie Friendship Keychains – Apocalypse Partners

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Zombie Friendship Necklace - Apocalypse Partners
Freddy Mercury said it best. Friends will be friends… Kind of obvious in retrospect, but there you have it. Friends are friends. Right till the end. Sometimes that end is a zombie apocalypse, with you shooting your friend in the head because your BFF is a dirty rotten zombie. That’s the way it goes. Doesn’t mean you aren’t friends. Just means you don’t want them eating your brain. Anyway, this Zombie Friendship Keychains set signifies that you and your BFF are zombie apocalypse partners and that you vow to do whatever it takes when the zombies roam the streets. Even if that thing is splitting up and running when you see the undead.

Even though it means that you will never find each other again, while you live a harsh life of survival, doing whatever you have to to get by, so that 5 years later your shaggy bearded self checks the zombie traps you set (the ones where they step on a trigger and a blade swings down, chopping their heads off) only to find a headless zombie body and the other half of your keychain in its pocket.

*Tears* So sad. Still friends. But so sad.