Category: Creep Wear

Krampus Mask and Suit

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Krampus Mask and Suit
Hey everybody! It’s Krampus. Don’t tell your grampus! Get on your skateboard an jump him with a rampus. Gather everyone around, tell the whole campus. If it’s dark go and light a lampus. I’m so excited I got a crampus and now my pants are dampus!

This Krampus Mask and Suit is the shizz! I guess it could also double as the abominable snowman. Check out that nose ring. Dude should be plowing a field somewhere, getting whipped by a farmer. As for the outfit, I had no idea he was into bondage. Whatever floats your boat dude. Do your thing. I don’t judge.

Krampus Mask and Suit

Krampus Mask and Suit

Scorpion Ear Wrap Earring

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Scorpion Ear Wrap Earring
Excuse me Miss, you have something crawling on your ear. Uh… Too late. It’s in your ear now, swimming in your ear wax and pinching up your ear drum. *Cups hands together and yells* I said, there’s a scorpion in your ear. Why ya looking at me all dumb? Oh. Damn. It got to your brain now. Well, good luck with that. *Thud* Wow. Never saw a body collapse so fast. I’m out of here.

This Scorpion Ear Wrap Earring looks badass and it will rock you like a hurricane. No joke! Well, that was a joke, but scorpions in your ear is no joke at all.

Cute Graveyard Ghosts Skirt

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cute Graveyard Ghosts Skirt
Excuse me ma’am, your skirt is full of ghosts. What I’m saying is that your nether-regions are being haunted. Your lower half is probably covered in ectoplasm by now. Lucky for you I’m a Ghostbuster. I can help. Wanna be my boo? Jk. Jk. BOO! Did I scare ya? But let’s not skirt the issue. This Cute Graveyard Ghosts Skirt is pretty adorable. You might call it Haunt Couture. It is a grave fashion choice that is sure to raise some spirits.

Full Body Skeleton Halloween Costume

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Full Body Skeleton Halloween Costume
Man, girls like this make me so nervous. I never know what to say. Nice Full Body Skeleton Halloween Costume. Seems like I can’t say anything without coming off like a jerk. I can’t tell her that I want to strip the bones off of her. Just sounds wrong. No matter how true it may be. Hey baby, you have some tight fitting bones! No, that won’t work. She does have a nice set of ribs on her though. This is the first time something has ever been ribbed for my pleasure. Just FYI. You see why I’m such a hit with the ladies? You should all be happy I spend my time writing this blog, rather than being slapped by you all day long. Bringing you the hits like this poison ivy costume.

Tarot Card Pendants

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Tarot Card Pendants
Take it from me ladies, you are going to look smashing wearing these Tarot Card Pendants. I know cuz I read your fortune. You are also going to meet a tall, dark, handsome man. It’s probably that guy who checked you out earlier. He’s a keeper. But he will hog the blankets at night. And chew with his mouth open. I know, I know, I see a lot of useless stuff, but it’s all true cuz my imagination powers the cards and the crystal ball. Oh and he also will never cook for you or clean, but seriously, he’s the one. I promise. You won’t regret it.
I’m hoping if I put that out there, one of you will run into me and settle for me, so I have it made. Okay, so who is gonna be my sugar mama?