Snow globes are way too happy and nice. You shake them and you make it snow over a cheery winter scene. Maybe you want to cause some destruction instead. The Apocalypse Snow Globe will let you do just that. Watch as the grey and black pieces of debris rain down on this wasteland of a city.
It’s the perfect gift from a Grinch this Christmas.
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It’s not just kids who are scared of the dark. Adults don’t like it either. Sure, we act all brave, but when you get up in the middle of the night for a pee, we all run as fast as we can back into bed, careful not to let the wife see you, because if she does you know she’s gonna call you a pansy again. So what? You screamed when you saw a spider. Okay, so you also fainted that one time when the mouse came out of the wall, but only because it was a smart mouse and brought it’s own chlorophyll to knock you out. Then when you explain she calls you stupid and asks if you meant chloroform? *Deep breath*
The point is, darkness is scary. So use this The Walking Dead Nightlight. Sure Zombies are scary too but darkness? Screw darkness.
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Just like Creepbay, Edgar Allen Poe is all about strange stuff. He’s been giving people nightmares for ages and he isn’t even a dentist or an employee of the IRS. Funny story: People used to think I was in the Edgar Allen Poe fan club. For awhile there I couldn’t go anywhere without somebody yelling, “Poser!” or “Look it’s that poser again! Piss off!” I’m flattered, really I am, but I have never been a member of the fan club guys.
Anyhow, this pop-up book called The Illustrated Edgar Allan Poe contains four unabridged tales from the master of the macabre, complete with scary pop-ups that will have you hiding behind the couch as your mom reads it to you. Not that that happened to me. I’m just sayin’. Dude writes some scary stuff.
Wow. Never noticed all the dust bunnies back here. Score! Found a floor gummi bear or as I like to call it, a Yeti bear. Gummis always wear jackets in cold places.
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These Name Your Poison Whiskey Glasses are pretty cool, but they forgot marriage. And taxes. I kid, I kid. I married my wife for tax purposes so it’s all good. She got me this set for Christmas last year and I’ve been drinking out of the arsenic one ever since. Also not feeling very well and constantly pooping myself as she laughs.
You can’t even poison me right you cow!
Shut up you fat old idiot! I’m pouring you a double right f***ing now!
Oh, I’m drinking! I’ll take two!
*dodges flying glass*
I’ll see you in hell old man! I’ll be the bartender!
Today is your lucky day if you want to own a replica of Marty Feldman’s face as Igor from Young Frankenstein. Do you want to own it? Yes master I do. Then go and buy it from Etsy seller STUDIOLABORATORIO51. Quickly Igor before it sells out! Yes master!
Check out the bonus video of thing below, complete with it’s own soundtrack.
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